She dropped her gaze. “I may have…allowed certain liberties in order to indulge my curiosity, but you shouldn’t have interpreted this as a sign that I’ve accepted everything you’ve told me.”
To indulge her curiosity?She made him sound like a new parlor game she’d tried out. Hadn’t the moments they’d shared meant anything?
“Yes,” Eli muttered. “I see that now.”
“My questions.” Jane folded her hands before her waist, the forfeit still perched between her fingers like a miniature war flag. “There’s no one here but us, Lieutenant. If you are truly a man of your word,surely you will honor your debt and give me truthful answers. If you’re worried about the risk that I’ll ruin your good name, I promise you, I’m not seeking to stir up gossip. I only want to set my own doubts to rest.”
Would that he could set her doubts to rest. Perhaps he should just take the opportunity to tell her everything. If they kept kissing like this, he would have to tell her eventually. He wanted honesty between them, not secrets and half-truths. How would it feel to unburden himself to someone without any judgment or consequence?
But it was a hopeless fantasy. Hadn’t Jane just admitted that whatever they’d shared recently was a fleeting whim? She wouldn’t understand his choices. She might even hate him. And her promise not to spread gossip wasn’t much to stake his career on, in light of how easily her opinion of him might change. It wasn’t only his own future he would be risking, but Geórgios as well.
Still, Eli couldn’t refuse her outright. The way she’d issued her challenge, a refusal to honor his forfeit would appear an admission of guilt.
“I’ve told you already, I don’t like to talk about it. You have one forfeit, so I’ll answer one question. That strikes me as fair payment.”
She would probably ask him whether he was really held captive by pirates, and he could say yes and end this conversation. All the essential elements of his story were true. The odds that she would hit on one of the few details he didn’t want known in only one question were slim.
Jane furrowed her brow in dismay but didn’t protest. Though she contemplated for long enough that Eli began to grow nervous. She was too shrewd. He was playing games with a master strategist.
Finally, she spoke, her voice careful and deliberate. “Have you lied to me about anything you said happened during the time you were presumed dead?”
Pure relief.She’d cast her net wide, but he’d never lied to her outright.
“No,” Eli said firmly, his eyes never flinching from hers. “Everything I told you was true. I went under in the shipwreck, I was taken by pirates, they held me captive for a time, and I eventually escaped and came home. I swear it on my life.”
Jane’s eyes took on a wounded look, and the flush returned to her cheeks. When she spoke again, she could barely meet his gaze. “Then I’m sorry I doubted you. You must think me horrid.”
“I assure you, I don’t.” Now it was Eli’s turn to suffer the creeping weight of shame. “I know that my reluctance to speak of my experience must create suspicion. It’s only natural you would have some doubts.”
He felt like he was lying to her even now. If not in word, then in spirit. But what other choice was there?
Eli couldn’t risk telling her everything. Not when he had no assurance she felt any loyalty to him, and it might give her the power to destroy not only his own life, but also his friend’s.
“Maybe one day I’ll be in a position to answer all your questions at length.” The words did little to assuage his guilt when Jane still looked so downcast. “Until then, I hope you can be patient with me.”
He wanted to say more, but there were no magic words to solve this puzzle. Instead, he watched the regret play over Jane’s face in a way that matched his own sentiments until the sound of footfalls on the stairs below reminded him they’d lingered here long enough.
“How has everyone enjoyed the first two days of the races?” Miss Danby asked over supper that evening.
She was seated to the right of Eli, while her younger sister andbrother flanked his left. Jane, Edmund, and Hannah were across from them, while the married members of the party were all at the upper end of the long table, engrossed in their own conversation.
Looking to Jane, Miss Danby added, “I didn’t see you in the crowd this morning.”
“Hannah and I went up to explore Winkfield instead. But we’ll be back for Ladies’ Day tomorrow.”
“Oh. Did anyone else go?” Miss Danby cast a sidelong glance toward Eli that lasted a second too long.
What did Jane tell her?
“Only Hannah and I.”
“Hmm.” Miss Danby cast her eyes back down to the slice of pigeon pie in the middle of her plate. “Well, you didn’t miss much. The Queen didn’t attend today, and quite a few people left early when they saw she wasn’t there.”
“You missed both the Swinley and the Albany,” Edmund insisted. “Which were far more exciting than the chance to catch sight of the Queen.”
“You’ll have to forgive my brother, Della.” Jane took a sip of her punch. Eli tried not to let his gaze linger on her full, pink lips. “Racing is a sensitive subject. We must find something else to talk about.”
Edmund glared at her, then fixed his attention pointedly on his meal. They might have lost him for the evening.
