The stars flash—white, then gray, then black—and I slowly push to stand, preparing for a threat that I fear has already passed.
Selene confirms it when she answers, “With him.”
“No.” The single word is wrapped in both command and plea. “She can’t be.”
“I’m sorry,” she says solemnly, but the tone of her words isn’t so much laden in regret as it is resignation.
“You knew. You fuckingknewthis would happen.” I run a hand through my hair, tugging on the strands as I try once more to draw my power up. I need to get back to consciousness—to my real body—so that I can get to her. It has only been, what, a day? Two at most? I can make up that ground easily if I leave now. I can—
“Nox.”
I ignore Selene, just as my magic seems to be ignoring me. A dull ache flares across my back, followed by a prickling sensation that sends breath hissing through my teeth.Fine. Perhaps I can’t access it here like Rhea can. All the more reason to leave.
“Nox, listen to me.”
Closing my eyes, I focus on the mental picture I have in my mind of home, hoping that I can justwillmyself there. It starts with the shape of the palace and morphs into something more detailed—my room and then the bed within it. And then her, always her. Her knees drawn up as she reads, early morning light playing against the crown of her head. Her eyes lifting from the pages to meet mine, joy and longing and love all expressed in one quick glance.
Gods, I love her. I fuckingloveher.
“You cannot get to her.” Like a blade slicing through flesh, the image splits, and I’m once more plunged back into the Middle when I open my eyes.
“Of course I can—”
“No,” she says, a finality to her voice that I don’t at all like. “Your magic has weakened, Prince, and your kingdom is in turmoil.”
“I don’t fuckingcare.”
“You should. She would.” Some distant part of me knows she’s right, but my anger—my guilt and sorrow and utter, absolute rage—doesn’t care. She is gone, and I will sacrifice anything, stop at nothing, to get her back. “I don’t blame you for your anger, but you must not let it blind you. Rhea would not want you to ruin many just to save one.”
“Fuck you, and fuck that.” Selene may be a goddess or whatever, but she doesn’t know the way Rhea’s eyes sparkle when she’s learned something new. Selene doesn’t know that when Rhea is nervous, she chews on her bottom lip. Sometimes to the point that it brings her pain. She doesn’t know that inside the woman who has only just begun to build herself up from the horrors that she has endured is a heart so perfect and precious that no one deserves to have it, least of all me. But it is mine,sheis mine, and I will damn this entire continent before I let her uncle take anything more from her. There is no other choice. It is lunacy to believe otherwise.
I teeter on my feet, my balance faltering before outright failing and sending me to my hands and knees. Those wisps of my magic within me began to tug, invisible tethers pulling on me.
“Fate can be fickle and cruel, but it is not set in stone. You may feel like little more than a pawn, Prince of Stars, but you hold within you the power to bring about change. You are not made of shadows and darkness but of starlight. Remember that.”
The world tilts, and what once felt solid beneath me disappears until I’m careening down. Stars whiz past my face at startling speeds, my stomach unsure of which way is up or down. Rhea’s name leaves my lips—a whisper or a scream, I don’t know—but I want to believe that she can hear it, wherever she is. That maybe it can be a sign that lets her know I am coming.
Darkness swallows me whole, and in its infinite embrace, there is only silence.
Chapter Nineteen: Bahira
Mystepsaresoftas I pace my room, frustration a gnawing headache that pounds at my head.
“Fucking useless books,” I growl, immediately regretting my words as if the tomes stacked on my nightstand can hear them. Sighing, I pause at the center of my room. Between Noxstillstuck in this “deep sleep” as the healers have called it, Councilman Kallin cornering me the day before and all but demanding that I come in to brief them on my time in the Shifter Kingdom, my rampant thoughts on the blood and magic and theSpell, and the incessant memories of Kai that only want to reveal themselves when I’m at my most exhausted and can’t fight them off, I feel as if I’m not just stretched too thin but like I’m being pulled apart.
And the aforementioned books aren’t helping matters.
They are the ones that Elisha thought might be helpful regarding the relationship between blood and magic. While there technicallyarementions of the two, it is just more of the same warning I had heard repeated growing up. Elisha was right. I am going to have to request access to our kingdom’s archives. It is a place that houses ancient artifacts, some dating back many millennia. While I can’t bepositivethere will be enough information hidden within the restricted space to help me bridge the connection between magic and blood, what Idoknow is that any time a portion of the history is restricted, it’s likely that the people in power are not giving thefulltruth as to why. Death may very well be the outcome when tampering with these two things, but something deep in my gut tells me that there is more to the story.
Tilting my head back, I let out a ragged sigh. The only way I will know for sure is to access the archives. And the only way I will be able to dothatis by way of a councilman.
At least on that front, I do haveoneperson on my side.
I shower and quickly dress, and with the beginnings of a plan formulating in my head, I start downstairs to make my first stop of the day. Palace guards are still crawling around the foyer and halls, groups of them clustered at the few entrances on the first level. I walk with my head held high, my eyes meeting those who pass. Some of them dip their chins in greeting, others regard me with a glance that I swear borders on wary.
I know I’ve entered the healers’ wing when I’m hit with the bitter scent of cleaning alcohol and the air chills to a temperature that rivals an autumn evening. My fingers flexinstinctively at my sides as I near the room holding Nox, the door opening as a man in a deep brown robe exits.
“Galen!” I call out, quickening my steps to meet the older mage, his eyes widening in surprise when they meet mine.
