He moves his nose closer, grazing against my temple. “What would it take for you to trust me?”
That strikes deep, as if he’s managed to pry open a very sheltered part of my soul. I glance down at my hands, the thermos still there. I sip on the hot chocolate, but it’s too heavy in my stomach with the way he’s manipulating me right now. “I don’t even know the answer.”
He pulls his face back. “Then we’ll wait until it strikes you.”
“I don’t have an answer.”
“Again, we’ll wait.”
I try to re-center myself, and dare I admit that I’m…curious? “Tell me when you got involved with Dominion. Let’s start there.”
Judge wraps the blanket around us, and it’s so weird to be sitting like this withthealpha of the people who congregate in front of me. “I came to Dominion nearly fifteen years ago. Rose up to this rank nine years ago.”
“What do the different tattoos mean?”
“Those with the top half of a skull are the road dolls, those with the bottom to complete it are Iron spouses. A dagger through the right side means you wear your own leathers, have paid with blood, and officially work for the gang. Double daggers mean you are in charge of it all.” He leans into my ear again. “It means I’m as high as it goes,” he says, and I swear I can hear the cocky grin in his voice.
There’s something to this intimacy that makes me realize we haven’t kissed yet, not even in estrus. I don’t think I can handle kissing this man right now; that would be a betrayal I couldn’t forgive myself for. “What happened to the one before you?”
“Died of some fever. A real boring death.” I can feel the vibrations of his chest against my back when he speaks, and I’m dreading the idea of him actually purring for me.
I feel incredibly weak to him right now.
“Where were you before Dominion?” I ask, keeping the silence at bay.
“Thatanswer won’t come until you’re bonded.”
My eyes roll so hard it almost hurts, and I’m so thankful for the reminder that I don’t like this man. “Why?”
“Because the answer is incredibly personal.”
My breathing slows, because as much as that annoys me, it also dawns on me that he doesn’t want to risk giving any details of himself.A vulnerability.
I can work with that.
The silence takes us, the only sound now being that of the fun that everyone is having down below, while I’m stuck in this large, attic space.
One thing I know is I’m getting tired of sitting here, because it’s confusing the shit out of me. How can someone smell like masculine vanilla? It’s what he reeks of, and it’s catnip to my nervous system, along with how warm and big he is. All the while, I want to fight and bicker with him. Tell him he’s an asshole. Tell him he willneverbite me, even though I just told him to do so.
Honestly, I feel crazy.
Well… what if I am? What ifthat’sbeen the problem all this time? What if the Black Mirage is best for me because once I’m stripped of being an omega, I’ll belong among the eccentric?
“You have unfortunately come here at a very bad time,” he states. His voice is admittedly gentle, like he’s trying to be sincere. He clears his throat. “I am pulled in a lot of directions. I’m sorry if I’m not around a lot.”
There’s a fragile sensation of guilt sprouting in my heart, as if I forget why I hated him in the first place. “What’s theendendgoal with me, Judge? Like, where do I fit in this place a year from now? Two years from now?”
“You’ll wear a vest that says you’re my property.”
I start to shift like I’m about to get up. Judge merely laughs, keeping me in my place with his arms that tighten around me, and god, I hate the lovely sound that his laugh is. How I can feel it against my back, and how I just want to lean into him. “Knew you’d love that.”
“So you’re joking then?” I ask, thinking about Kitty.
“Oh, no. You’re definitely wearing it, one day. All the Iron spouses wear it.”
Spouse. Why does that sound more serious than a mate? I twist slightly so I can look up at him to look over his face to gauge how serious he is, and when he starts to look over mine, I know it’s dangerous the way we aretooclose. I turn back ahead, nearly panting. “Property is barbaric.”
“I call you my property because it means if someone even looks atyouwrong, then they looked atmewrong. Any slight to you is a slight to me. It’s how respect works around here.”
