“No.” The word is spoken softly, but it leaves no room for negotiation. When I arch my brow at his curtness, he smirks before leaning in to kiss me. “I’m not going to exploit your magic,” he says against my lips.
“It’s not exploitation if I’m offering,” I counter, leaning away when he tries to kiss me again. I study his face, tracing each perfect angle before returning to his gaze. “Nox, what’s wrong?”
He looks to where our hands meet over the blanket. “I think that your magic, Void Magic, is wonderful, that it gives you the ability to heal people. But… Rhea, when more and more people find out what you can do, they are going to want you to do things for them. And if you refuse? They’ll feel like youoweit to them to do so.”
“Why?”
“Because if I’ve learned anything spying in the Mortal Kingdom and navigating the politics of my own, it’s that when men find a source of power, one of two things happen: Either they find a way to twist it to their own advantage, ensuring that it’s something they can wield however they want,orthey fear it and find a way to destroy it.”
I pinch my lips together, laying a hand over his chest, thinking of King Dolian and Queen Amari. “I won’t let anyone use me ever again,” I whisper, proud of the conviction of my own voice. “I promise.”
“And I’ll kill anyone before they get the chance, but Ialsoworry that if there comes a time to sayno, your heart won’t let you.”
I huff out a breath as the light from the fire behind me dances over his face. “I was so terrified when I learned I had the magic to kill. That I could wield shadows into something so deadly that it drained another of life. If there is a way for me tohelppeople,I don’t see why I should keep that to myself.” It made me happy to heal those suffering from the Cruel Death, even given my circumstances. If I could still figure out a way to help them…
“I’m not saying that you should,” he counters, pulling me closer. “I just want you to remember that there is a hierarchy when it comes to who you keep safe, who you protect. Andyouare at the top of that list.Always.”
Our conversation falls quiet after that, Nox encasing me in his warmth as I close my eyes and try to find sleep. But his words dance in my head the entire night, just as much an affirmation as an omen.
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty: Bahira
Ithadbeenfourdays since Nox left to rescue Rhea, his magic and strength back after removing the dragon stone shard from beneath his skin, which held the magic of who knows how many councilmen. Even now, staring up at the dark ceiling of my room during another sleepless night, my teeth grind together at the thought. I don’t need magic to know that being cut off fromit for long periods of time could change someone. Make them go mad. And in a way, Noxhad. Perhaps the effects were lessened by the tonic that they gave him, but my brother had never behaved like I witnessed, and I can only hope that he’s able to bring Rhea back with a clear head, ready to tackle whatever this next phase of restoring our kingdom will look like.
With the council locked in the dungeon for their treachery, Elora and I, with the help of Max, had moved the Mirror back to its original place in the throne room. Since Nox left, I have spent every day using the Mirror to call out to Kai. The magic within it responded to my command, swirling and shifting like thick mist over water. But the shifter king never appeared on the other side. I had gotten pathetically desperate late one evening, debating the merits of calling out to another kingdom to make sure the Mirroractuallyworks. The fae king seemed like the safest option, so I called out for him, assuming that it wouldn’t work but unsure of what I would do if it did.
I nearly jumped back when he appeared on the other side, his black eyes staring at me with a malice I hadn’t known one could harbor for a stranger. I made up a reason for reaching out to him on behalf of my father, something about confirming trade routes. The male didn’t speak a single word before abruptly stepping away from his Mirror and ending our conversation. It was better that he did, but I still found myself cursing him under my breath as I ran a hand down my face.
The truth had become undeniable. The Mirror works—which means Kai is ignoring me.
If there is a moment when you decide you’d like to talk with me again, I will make sure someone is always guarding the Mirror.
His words are a hollow echo in my mind now. Perhaps, he’s already confirmed that Rhea was taken through other means and has deemed contact with me pointless.
Be my ruin.I huff out a broken laugh.
It has been nearly three months, and it’s easy to imagine him moving on with his life,with someone else. My mind runs rampant with thoughts of a mystery woman’s hands on his body. Tracing the edges of his tattoos. My stomach twists at the imagined scenario, but what makes it worse is picturing her learning what each line and curve and shape mean. Him trusting another as he had trusted me and telling them about his mother. About Jahlee and his childhood and his fears as king. It is selfish to feel as if I have any claim to him anymore, because I know that I don’t. Yet my heart still races at the thought of him falling for someone else, and perhaps, that is my penance. After all, what could be worse than finally admitting that I fell in love for the first time, only to follow it with the realization that I will never see him again.
“Tell me Kallin’s given yousomething,” I say as I practically barge into the queen’s dining room, my mother and father already sitting. Steam wafts off of the food set at the table’s center, an array of seasoned chicken, warm rolls, and grilled vegetables spread out on various platters. “Because if he hasn’t, I’m sure some light torture will get him to speak.”
“We don’t torture people here,” my father answers, though amusement lightens his tone.
“Maybe we should.” Pulling out a chair, I collapse into it, reaching aggressively for the platter of chicken in front of me and sliding some of the sliced meat onto my own plate. “Give me and my spear ten minutes, and I’m sure we can convinceanyoneto talk.” I reach for the vegetables next, then top my plate off with a warm roll. I can feel my parents’ stares on me as I roughlypierce the food with my fork, shoving it into my mouth as I angrily chew.
“Is something bothering you, my rose?” my mother asks, drawing my gaze to her.
I chew the food, stabbing another piece of chicken but pausing before bringing it to my mouth. “I ran into Haylee on the way here. Why thefuckis she still allowed access to the palace?” Though the chicken is delicious, its flavor is all but lost as I replay our interaction. Dressed in a gown the lightest shade of pink with her hair done in a coronet braid, she looked every bit the blushing bride-to-be as she strolled down the hallway followed by a detail of guards.
“Unfortunately, we need her while your brother is gone and the council is imprisoned.”
I scoff as I meet my father’s gray eyes over the table. “Why? What could wepossiblyneed fromher?” I’m adult enough to admit that I’m hurt after finding out the woman I considered one of my closest friends since childhood has actually been pretending in order to get to Nox. That it has jaded logical thought surrounding her. But fucking gods above, running into her in my own home is not a mistake I want repeated.
“Kallin was smart in the order that he did things as well as what information he chose to take public,” my mother answers, her hand resting on my father’s. “And Nox wasn’t with the public way he removed the council.” She pinches her lips together as she thinks over her next words. “Your brother will return with Rhea and step into his role as king without the council that the people have known. It makes us look likewe’rethe ones who were deceitful. Haylee, unfortunately, is a buffer. If she’s still parading around the palace…”
“Then it gives credibility that Nox hasn’t completely betrayed his people.” She nods, and I lean back in my chair. But still, this doesn’t sit right with me. “It’s only been a handful of monthssince they started their public perception campaign against us, right? How much damage could possibly be done in that time frame?”
“Enough that we are teetering on a very thin ledge. One made more precarious with the knowledge that Kallin is still controlling some of the guards from his cell. We have an idea of a few who are truly loyal to us, but the majority…” My father blows out a breath, a finger tapping on the table. “Kallin’s deception began far earlier than when he found out about Rhea. Earlier than when he made the choice to leave Hadrik and I out of the decision to keep the law regarding a future king’s betrothed.”
I knit my brows together, my food forgotten in front of me. “What do you mean?”
