Cass said to tell her what’s in my heart, and that should be easy enough, as it’s entirely consumed by her. So, after fortifying myself with another breath, I let the love I feel for her pull the words from me.
“I hope you can hear me, wherever you are. Know that nothing, and no one, will get to you here. I will make sure of it.” I swallow roughly, my fingers tapping the top of the comforter. “The first time I saw you, something deep within me seemed torecognizeyou. I know that sounds insane—it made mefeelinsane—but there was this tug in my chest that seemed tethered to you. And I couldn’t stay away. I found every excuse I could to be near you, even at the beginning when you wouldn’t open the door. I could still feel you. I felt you on the bridge in front of the tower. Your magic was a pulse that beat in time with my own heart. I started to feel you in the guards’ barracks all the way on the other side of the damn castle. There was nowhere I could go without there being an overwhelming sense ofyou.”
I could never forget those initial few weeks, when silent games turned into passing notes and I got to see the first glimpse of her personality. Then, when my visits became more frequent, I loved the way her face would light up every time I stepped through the door to her tower. Like I wasn’t the only one counting down the minutes until we could be together again.
“I remember the moment I realized I was falling in love with you,” I say thickly. “We were sitting in the library, taking turns reading from that filthy romance book. I wondered if maybeyou had chosen it with the hopes of making me read the more dirty scenes, so you can only imagine my fucking delight when it turned out that you were the one who had to.” My smile widens as I recall the way she used the book to shield herself, her voice wavering as the story progressed. “If I’m being honest, it wasn’t the words you were reading or the image they were painting that had me clutching on to that bench for dear life. It was the fearless way you read them. It wasn’t lost on me that you had never done that with anyone before, and yet there you were, reading those words out loudwith me. Then you had the courage to ask me if I was with anyone else. It was ludicrous to me then, because anyone who is lucky enough to spend even ten minutes with you would forget all others.”
I allow myself to reach out and play with the ends of her hair, twisting the soft strands between my fingers.
“You infiltrated every thought. Your face was all I could picture, both awake and in my dreams. It still is. I should have told you everything that night at the inn. I wish I had because knowing that I hurt you fuckingkills me.You deserve so much better than that, Rhea, so much more than what I did.”
I pause to take a breath, to push away the emotion welling in my eyes that I don’t deserve to have there, when I see her hand twitch.
“Rhea? Can you hear me?” I hold my breath, waiting for her to respond or to move her fingers again. Maybe I was just imagining it. Maybe—
Her magic begins to swell, its presencepushingon me. Her magical signature is unique, different depending on which power she is calling up. The healing, luminescent magic feels warm and alluring, as strong as the sun itself. I get the distinct feeling that it yearns to be used while her other magic, the one that makes her eyes flash black and creates those glittering shadows…Thatone has an eagerness to it that makes mystomach churn with unease. Like it’s usingher.And that is the magic that is currently pulsing in waves around her. Panic rises within me as that otherness floods in, its darkness a presence that robs me of my breath.
“Sunshine, if you can hear me, you’re okay. I’m here with you.”
I don’t know if I am trying to reassure her or myself. My magic rises in response as it recognizes her power. Kneeling and gently cupping her face, I jolt in surprise when Rhea’s skin turns icy right beneath my fingertips.
“Rhea?”
Her eyes jerk side to side under her closed lids, her body stiffening as her magic pulses steadily. I grit my teeth, my hands flying from her face as a strong surge of her magic nearly throws me off the bed. Pressure builds beneath my skin, the urge to shield myself fed by my own power. The air feels thick with static electricity, like the moment before a lightning bolt strikes. Rhea’s face contorts into a grimace as her hair begins tofloataround her. Terror strikes me when her back bows, her chest lifting sharply and her mouth opening in a silent scream.
I bring up my magic, a shield of the deepest purple laced with black covering me as I push against the black magic pouring from her in strengths I have never felt before. My arms strain and my hands tremble as I go back to framing her face.
“I love you. Iloveyou,” I rasp, aching at the way my heart feels as if it’s being shredded apart. “I love you sofuckingmuch.” I repeat the words over and over again, my voice wobbling as I all but plead with any gods listening that she hears them.
Her shadows begin to dissipate, her body straightening out and relaxing back onto the bed. I call my own magic back, watching as it lingers on the parts of her it can touch before it flows back inside me, all while my thumbs gently caress her cheeks. Wetness seeps from the corners of her eyes, the sight oftears trailing down her cheeks might as well be a dagger to my chest. Her breathing evens out, her face returning to a mask of calm.
“Please open your eyes.Please,” I beg.
The silence settles back in, somehow more foreboding than before.
The door to the sitting room swings open, my father standing in the doorway with his chest rising and falling rapidly. “What was that?” he asks as he steps in, my mother rushing behind him and shutting the door. They take in my position on the bed, how I’m cradling Rhea’s face with my own breaths labored, before their eyes find mine. “Was it her?” my father questions again, his brows reaching towards his hairline. But I’m speechless. I can’t form words as my gaze falls back on her.
“My star, what is going on?” my mother asks softly, coming to my side.
I shake my head, my hands still trembling when I pull them away from Rhea and sit back on my heels. “I don’t know what happened. She just—” My voice falters as my mother wraps an arm around my shoulders.
“It’s alright,” she whispers, looking behind me to where my father must be standing. “We need to find a way to explain what that was.”
Terror courses through my veins as I stare at the keeper of my heart and soul and find her once again completely still.
Chapter Sixteen: Rhea
The tentative quiet isstrange enough to draw me from sleep. I stretch my fingers and toes, my body aching in a way it never has before—like I’ve completely drained myself. My memory is foggy, my thoughts tangled together as if in a web of overgrown vines. I focus on the fact that I’m still in the Middle and still alone. Well,nearlyall alone.
“You could pretend I’m not here,” the woman says with a small bit of mirth.
I snort, pushing myself up to sit. “I enjoy your presence, but I could do without you reading my mind and emotions. Though, in all my visits here, I realize I have never once asked for your name.”
“And I have never offered it,” she acknowledges with a resigned sigh.
“Does that mean you can’t?”
“Indeed.” She pauses, thinking something over. “It isn’t my real name, which I am forbidden from telling you, but it is a name I have gone by in the past. You can call me Selene.”
