Chapter Fifteen: Nox
The light of thesetting sun pours in through the open windows of my room directly onto her soft face. For the last four days, I have watched her sleep here in my bed. I have been too afraid to go far from this space, wondering if she will wake up when I’m gone and then thinking that maybe it’s better if I leave so that she can.
But for her, I am selfish. My heart beats discordantly in my chest, but still, it’s a song that is only meant for her to hear.
“Fuck,” I whisper, my hands cradling my head as my fingers push into my temples.
“Have you tried talking to her?” Cass asks from where he sits in a chair next to me. I look over at him, watching as he uses one of his daggers to carve something into a piece of wood. He’s abandoned his guard leathers and, instead, wears simple black trousers and a bright green short-sleeved tunic, his light blond hair tied away from his face. When I don’t answer, he elaborates, “You know, telling her a memory or a story that she hasn’t heard before.”
“No,” I answer, lifting my head from my hands and turning my gaze back to her. “Do you think it would help?”
“It wouldn’thurt.”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. There are so many memories of our time together to choose from. I keep them tucked into my mind like books tightly packed on a shelf. The first time she smiled at me. The first time I truly heard her laugh. The way she trusted me enough to talk about Alexi, and then the guilt that immediately flooded me after she had. The first—and only—time she told me she loved me. And the way I felt reborn because of it.
“Surely you can think ofonemoment you want to remind her of?” Cass questions skeptically, cutting into my thoughts.
“I remember them all. Every word, every lingering glance and soft touch of our skin. She is imprinted on my very soul, Cass.” The words rasp out of me as I fight the urge to let every emotion vying for dominance inside of me spill out. The noise of metal on wood ceases, and I can feel the weight of my friend’s stare on the side of my face.
“You’re in love with her?” His shock is so blatant that it nearly pulls a laugh from me.
“You don’t have to sound so surprised about it,” I grumble.
“Bullshit. You want me to ignore the fact that you show up back here with a gorgeous woman in tow—one whose magic feels as strong as yours does, by the way—and I’m just supposed to pretend that this is normal?”
“Preferably.”
Cass curses under his breath as he leans forward. “I still don’t understand how this happened. When did you have time to fall in love while working as a guard and sneaking around the castle?”
I wince a little at the fact that I haven’t told him everything yet. Normally on my visits home, Cass and I would spend thefirst few days catching up after I had relayed everything I knew to the council. Something they are currentlystillwaiting for me to do. My father has been able to hold them off, telling them that I need rest. That I need to readjust after so much time away. Only the healers and Sarai, who are sworn to secrecy, know that Rhea is here with me. And only my parents know the reason that I won’t leave.
Magic stirs in my chest, a fierce need urging me to make sure that no one else knows about Rhea. That she is protected at all costs. I have to fight against the harsh yank of that invisible chain, clenching my jaw as I do so. “It’s a long story. The important part you need to know now is that I will doeverythingin my power to assure that she is safe here. I may need your help to do so. I won’t ask you to do anything you’re not—”
“Yeah, I’m going to stop you right there,” he interjects.
I turn to look at him, my heart beating more harshly. Cassius is practically my brother. We grew up together and were inseparable through all stages of life until it was time for me to leave and search for the perceived magical threat to our kingdom. On my short visits home, it took days for me to shed the fake persona I had adopted as Flynn, guard in the Mortal Kingdom. But Cass had been there for me every time I came back frustrated and defeated and so godsdamn tired of pretending. His wit and humor—his ability to tell me when I was acting like an ass—always felt like a reset. I was able to find my true self whenever I spent enough time with him—the self I had buried deep within for fear of getting caught undercover. The only other person who had the same effect on me was lying silently in my bed, her golden hair flowing out around her.
“You know that whatever it is you need,whatever it is,I’m here for you. And if you need me to extend that same level of trust and protection to her, then I’m here for that too. I knew she was different the moment I saw you two interacting. Youhaveneverlooked that way at any woman.” His eyes dance with mischief as he grins. “Well, unless you do it in the bedroom, in which case I wouldn’t fucking know.”
“Gods above,” I say, shaking my head in annoyance and breathing out a sigh of relief. “You’re right.” When his eyes widen and a choked scoff sounds, I reach over and shove his shoulder. “Idiot. Imeanthat you’re right about her being different.”
His gaze moving to Rhea, he says, “Tell her that, then. Tell her what’s in here.” He taps a finger over his heart, a wry grin pulling at his lips.
“That is surprisingly deep for you.”
He snorts, shrugging his shoulders while he stands up and brushes the wood shavings off of his lap, pocketing whatever he was chiseling. I watch with a frown as he slides the dagger back into its sheath at his thigh, my gaze moving from him to the now dirtied floor.
“It’s not likeyouhave to clean it,” he remarks when he sees where my attention is. “And yes, I can be deep. In fact, I’ve heard I can goverydeep.”
“Get the fuck out,” I mumble though my lips do curl up at his laugh. I walk Cassius out of the room and into the sitting area, stopping there as he continues to the door. Pausing his steps, he turns to look over his shoulder at me.
“Just talk to her, Nox. Wherever she is, wherever hermindis, she appears to be safe there. Remind her that it’s safe for her to come back here too.” His words settle some of the anxiousness in my chest though guilt still rages like a brewing thunderstorm on the horizon.
“It’s weird when you’re serious.”
He flips me his middle finger and turns to leave, shouting, “And make sure you eat something! Wouldn’t want you to lose those vanity muscles before Blondie wakes up!”
Huffing out a laugh, I walk back into the room and carefully lie on the bed next to Rhea. Her lily scent wafts towards me while I tuck an arm under my head, settling into the smallest sliver of space that I can. I study her profile as it glows in the sunlight, the rays soaking into her skin like they can’t help but be drawn to another source. If she is in competition with the sun, she is undoubtedly winning.
