He changed the subject because even for Rocco, this conversation was getting too sentimental. “So, the shoot next week. We’ll do a casting video first. Want me to book the studio?”
“We’ll do it here.” Come to think of it… “No, book the studio.”
“Got it,” Rocco said. “You sure you’re good?”
“Always,” I said, even though we both knew it was bullshit.
After he hung up, I set my phone down and stared at it. The house was quiet for once, without naked people running around. It was nice, and I thought that Lana would like it too. The only problem was that she wasn’t here right now.
I tried not to think about her, but she was always somewhere in the back of my mind lately. Whether I wanted her to or not, her beautiful face, fiery hair, and blue eyes were a constant image right in front of me.
Shit…she just didn’t fit in here.
She was too calm for this place. Too normal.
And I was the opposite.
And, still, I had to turn it all into a perverted little game.
I picked up my phone and opened Instagram. I’d looked her up before, but her profile had been private. The only thing visible had been her profile picture. All I could see was her back turned to the camera, standing in front of a wall of books. To anyone else, it would’ve looked ordinary. To me, it wasn’t. The way her shoulders were relaxed, her hair pulled into a loose braid. It told me exactly who she was. Even in that damn picture, it looked like she didn’t want to take up too much space.
I typed her name into the search bar, and when her profile appeared, I stopped. It wasn’t private anymore.
For a second, I didn’t move. My thumb hovered over the screen. It wasn’t like I’d never seen her before. She lived here. But scrolling through her world like this felt wrong.
Still, I started to scroll.
The feed wasn’t big. There were only five pictures, a few with her friends, some random shots from campus, and one was a selfie. I tapped on it and just stared like a fucking creep.
She definitely didn’t post like the girls I knew. There wasn’t a single attention-seeking pose, no filters, no cleavage.No half-naked posts to attract men. But I shouldn’t have been surprised about that. She wasn’t a damn porn star.
I forced myself to scroll to the next picture. It was a candid photo someone had taken of her sitting outside a café. Her head was tilted down, her fingers holding a half-open book, and there was a soft smile on her face that made my fucking dick twitch inappropriately. Her hair looked brighter under the sunlight, and so did her eyes. She wasn’t looking at the camera, but she didn’t have to to make an impression. She stood out without trying, and that was a talent in itself.
I stared too long, and my stomach tightened. So I kept scrolling, thinking it might help, but I encountered the same problem. Every photo she was in made my heart act up.
I shouldn’t have been doing this or feeling this way. I wasn’t a damn teenager. I knew better. But it was too easy to justify. To tell myself I was just curious, just making sure she was doing fine outside this house.
Except that wasn’t the full truth.
I was admiring her through a screen because doing it in person wouldn’t be right. It would scare her off. Make her feel uncomfortable. Though I had managed to make her feel that way earlier at the store when I asked her to call me daddy again. She had meant it mockingly, but to me, it had made me feel better than the damn blowjob Karlee had given me that morning.
My cock twitched again, and I reached down to cup it with my free hand. I went back to the selfie, and from that moment on, my mind shut off, and my body took over.
I stood up from the chair and walked over to the couch, where I sat down and leaned back before reaching into the sweatpants I had changed into after returning from the store.
My cock was already hard, and I started to stroke it while I looked at Lana’s face on my screen.
I’m going to hell, I told myself. Yet, I didn’t stop.
“Fuuuck,” I groaned, squeezing my tip with my forefinger and thumb, then slid my hand down my length again. Parting my legs, I gave myself more space. The tight pull in my balls made me want to put the phone down and massage them with my other hand, but I needed to keep looking at her.
“God, that mouth feels good around my cock,” I praised, even though it was just my damn hand. But I had a grand imagination, and right now, I decided that it was Lana’s lips sliding up and down my shaft.
“Fucking beautiful. Keep those pretty eyes on me.”
I rubbed harder, never taking my eyes off her picture. My cock started throbbing, and just like this morning, getting off was easier than it ever had been thanks to Lana. I groaned louder, moving my hand faster, and tightening my grip around my cock until my legs tensed. My body was urging me to let go. To come in my damn pants like a fucking teenager who couldn’t hold himself back.
And the craziest part of it all was that it was just a picture of her making me feel this much. She had a hold on me like no other woman ever had, and when relief finally came, I held on to the image of her kneeling in front of me, sucking my cock.
