“Why aren’t you traumatised?” I demanded.
Janet laughed.
“I should be, shouldn’t I? I had therapy, Adam. They recommend that a therapist see someone to unload. So, I made sure I attended weekly sessions because I knew what I would hear would be upsetting. It was, and my therapist helped me.”
“I feel calmer.” I loosened my grip on the phone.
“Good. Take that medication, Adam, and work on those breathing exercises. Guilt is a useless emotion; make it your bitch, not the other way around,” Janet ordered.
“Is that really a suitable comment for therapy?”
“Does it matter? Are you going to be its bitch or make it yours? Only you can decide, Adam. Things happened that we couldn’t control. But none of us is to blame for that. If nobody had stood up to Fury, imagine where we’d all be now. Because Adam, you, James, Drake, and all the others, saved us from that fate. And I thank you for that.”
Janet’s words made me pause. She thanked me? Fury would have used her up like he did all women. Anyone linked to Rage MC, he’d have gone after. Janet was a sweet and wonderful lady. Fury and the Fangs would have abused her like every other woman they came across. Something flickered deep inside me.
“I saved you from that.”
“Yes, you did. I know what Fury would have done to me and to all the other women attached to Rage MC. He’d have destroyed us. Thanks to your brave actions, it didn’t happen.”
I turned that over in my mind. Damn.
“People have said that to me in the past, Janet. Yet somehow it means more today, why?” I asked.
“Because you’re open to healing, Adam. Before seeking me out, you weren’t, so the words bounced off you. Of course, it’s hard to assimilate that you’re a hero. None of you alpha assholes like to admit that, but you are, to an entire city, you’re our heroes. And to a nation that watched appalled—yeah, you showed them what a real American does for their country. That sent shock waves up and down the country. It ended a president’s term when the truth came out, and now, we have a national hero as president.
“Major General Winslow is a hero to millions of Americans. He stood up for what was right, even risking a court-martial. If not for him, Rapid City would have fallen. And unsurprisingly, Antony Parker-Jones is VP. A man who drew weapons to defend his state, while every other political bastard apart from Andrew Wainwright ran. The country is better off for those men. And weknow for a damn fact, they won’t sell us out! You’re a hero like them, too, Adam.”
“No!”
“Yes. Because Winslow was a soldier, he had to stay; Parker-Jones was a politician; this was his dominion. But you? Rapid City was your home; you could easily have moved away and let the state fall to Fury. That makes you more of a hero than them, because you were Joe Public and stepped up to do the proper thing,” Janet argued.
I wanted to deny her words. But they sank home. I didn’t think I was a hero, just a man who’d performed the right thing. It was bred into the American people to defend their home and freedom. And that’s what I’d done. Somehow, that made me a hero. I could see why people might think so, but I didn’t feel like one. I felt like an emotional mess instead.
“Don’t overthink things, Adam. You’re at the beginning of the process. I’m going to go now and let you consider what we’ve talked about. Remember, you can contact me at any moment after six at night our time.”
“Sorry, Janet, I didn’t think you might have been with a client,” I replied.
“If I had been, I wouldn’t have answered. Enjoy the snow and play with your children. And take that medication! Bye, Adam.” Janet hung up.
I stared out of the window, feeling raw and wrung out. The memory had taken a lot out of me, and I needed to recharge. A large mug was slid in front of me, and I glanced up and saw Trudy.
“My father was a soldier. I recognise PTSD when I see it. There’s more support today than back in his day. Don’t be afraid of asking for it; a brave man knows when he needs help and seeks it,” she said and walked away.
Those words were quite true, even with a stubborn asshole like me.
Chapter Five.
Rina
Icould see Adam watching us from the window, and I saw him blank out. I knew a memory had hit him, but I didn’t go to check on him. While not a lip-reader, I’d seen him say Janet’s name several times. That was still sinking in—Adam had gone to Janet for help. I honestly hadn’t thought him ready for that. But he had, and that gave me hope.
Callum smacked Xander straight in the face with a snowball, which Xander took offence to. Before Walker or I could stop him, my fiery four-year-old took his older brother down and buried his face in the snow. Zoie huffed next to me as she shook her little head.
“Mom! They ruin everything!” she complained.
“They’re boys, they do that,” I said.
“I don’t like them,” Zoie added.
