“No. I had another nightmare.”
He squeezed my fingers. “What was it this time?”
“You were dead,” I choked out, sickened by the memory of him lying lifeless on the ground and unable to help him. “I killed you by accident.”
“One day, you probably will,” he said in a sleepy tone, one eye open. “We have to get your urges under control.”
“I’ve been on my best behavior.” I leaned forward, our faces only inches apart, and stared at his lips. “But I have to do something for Dad this weekend.”
Bastian scowled. “I’m going with you. Just in case.”
He didn’t like what I became when I had to kill our family’s enemies. Hell, I didn’t like it either. I didn’t want to be wired this way.
It was a compulsion.
Some people with OCD compulsively checked the lock on their front door until it drove them insane.
I had to kill.
Thankfully, I didn’t feel the sudden need all the time. It came and went, but I turned into a different person when the switch flipped.
I was not myself.
I was a monster.
Bash turned onto his back, pulling his hand away from mine. “You’ve been better, I’ll give you that. But you haven’t been doing so hot since Luca took Alex away.”
“Neither have you,” I shot back. “We don’t even fuck around anymore. It’s like you’re sickened by me.”
“Never,” he said without hesitation. “You know damn well how I feel about you, Damian. So don’t say shit like that.”
“You’re pissed. So am I.”
Bash sat up and reached into his nightstand, removing a knife from the drawer. He handed it to me. “Do your worst. ”
For years, Bash had let me carve into his skin. He had tons of knife wounds that healed, though some didn’t look great. His skin pulled tighter in some places where I’d marred his perfect body.
I took the knife from his hand. “You’re in pain, too?”
He nodded. “Take it away, D. Just cut my fucking heart out. Because if you don’t, watching Luca with Alex will kill me.”
She was ours for most of the school year, and now that we’re down to the last few weeks, we would lose her again.
I got on top of Bash, pinning him to the mattress. Gliding the knife over his heart, I considered my first incision. He wanted me to cut out his heart, but I wouldn’t hurt him. Not the way I did my victims.
So I gripped the hilt and carved an X over his chest. I took it slow, allowing him to adapt to the pain. Bastian was letting me permanently mark his skin because he trusted me. He knew I would never hurt him.
Blood dripped down his chest, and I bent forward to taste him. My entire body trembled as the need took over. My hunger bloomed, and the familiar metallic scent filled the room.
My cock hardened as I tasted his blood, getting a hint of saltiness from his skin. I rubbed against his inner thigh to create some friction, desperate for a release. He was also hard and poked my stomach with his length.
I wanted to consume him.
Be one with him.
Even though I couldn’t control my urges, I only had to see his face or hear his voice to come back to reality.
“Damian.” I looked up as his eyes slammed shut, and he bit his bottom lip. “I hate feeling like this,” he said through clenched teeth. “I fucking hate him.”
