“Everything okay?”
Will looked up to see that Lance had joined them in the hall, a concerned expression on his face as he looked from Will to Amy.
Amy straightened and gave him a smile. “Yep. Just saying goodnight to Isabella.”
“She was refusing to leave without seeing Amy,” Will said then looked down at his daughter. “You ready to go now?”
This time she nodded and, after giving Amy one last hug,walked to his side and took his hand. She looked up at him. “Will we be back tomorrow?”
“We’ll see how the day goes. There’s a wedding here, so maybe we should just stay out of the way.” He was glad she didn’t press the issue right then. He looked up and smiled at Amy. “I’d like to hear how the shopping went today. Hope you were able to find what you needed.”
She returned his smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “It went well. I’ll still have to get a few things online though.”
They said their goodnights and headed downstairs and out into the damp night. Isabella kept up a running conversation for the duration of the trip home, but it didn’t require any response on his part, for which he was grateful. Amy still preoccupied his thoughts, and he wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that.
~*~*~
By Sunday morning, Amy felt marginally better. The wedding had gone off without a hitch. Everything had dried up enough for the wedding party to get the outdoor pictures the bride wanted. And thankfully, Will hadn’t showed up at all. Seeing him there Friday night when she’d gotten home had been a surprise. She’d been so distracted by everything, she hadn’t even noticed that it was his truck sitting in the driveway. In the dark, it had looked like Lance’s.
With the distraction of the wedding, she’d been able to push aside her problems. Though it had been poignant to watch the young couple marry, while her own future was in such disarray. Now as she sat in church listening to the prelude playing, Amy still tried to keep her dour thoughts at bay. There was really nothing she could do about it right then. She planned to call Sammi later that day to see if she had any ideas for possible jobs.
“Amy!”
At the sound of Isabella’s voice, Amy looked toward the end of the pew. The little girl stood there with Will rightbehind her. “Can I sit with you?”
“If it’s okay with your dad.” She moved down on the pew to make room for Isabella and then moved a bit further when she realized Will intendedto sit down as well.
Amy had planned to stay home with Jessa that morning, but Lance had insisted she come. He said that he’d stay with Jessa, and they’d watch the service online together. Julia had come with her but had darted off with her cousins when Laurel had shown up with her brood in tow. Normally Amy would have joined them at the front of the church, but today she had found the first empty pew and sank down into it.
“Good morning,” Will said as he settled down next to Isabella. He wore a light green shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks. The smile he gave her set her heart pounding.
In return, Amy smiled what she hoped was a normal smile but it was tiring to keep up the pretense that everything was okay. Thankfully the worship team began to sing, and her attention could safely leave Will and Isabella without appearing rude. The little girl was very well- behaved, singing along with the rest of the congregation. When they’d stood to sing, Isabella had slid her hand into Amy’s and every once in a while, she’d squeeze it. When Amy had glanced at Isabella, she’d seen the little girl smiling up at her.
Each time Amy looked at Isabella, she felt a little hitch in her heart. She was supposed to have had a class full of little faces just like hers, and now she didn’t. As they sat down after the singing was done, Will stretched his arm out on the pew behind Isabella. His hand bumped her shoulder, and for a moment she wanted to scoot closer to the little girl. To be included in the embrace he gave his daughter. But that wasn’t her place. Never would be.
Sadness crept further into her heart. She wasn’t one to wallow in self-pity, but right then it felt like the most natural and appealing place to be. What more could possibly go wrong?
Suddenly Isabella stood, and Amy realized the children had been dismissed for their own worship time. Will shifted sideways to let Isabella past him into the aisle to join the other children making their way to the front of the church. When he straightened again, he ended up a little closer to her. Amy glanced at him, and their gazes met for a moment. She couldn’t read his expression, but she got the feeling he was trying to see deep into her soul. Maybe he sensed something wasn’t right with her. That thought alarmed her a little, and she turned her gaze to the man standing behind the pulpit at the front of the church.
After the pastor had finished saying a prayer over the children who had gathered, they began to file out of the sanctuary. Isabella waved at them as she walked back by where they were sitting.
Amy braced herself for the sermon that was to come. It seemed every time she was struggling with something, the pastor would speak directly to whatever it was. She figured this time would be no different. Clasping her hands in her lap, she listened as he read a passage of Scripture and then bowed her head while he prayed. So far, so good. Surprisingly enough, while the sermon on Christian living was a good one, it didn’t speak specifically to what she was dealing with. In some ways, she was relieved. She really didn’t want a lecture on how she wasn’t handling the latest bumps in her life the way she should.
Trust God.
So easy to do when things were going smoothly. Unfortunately, all of this had dredged up feelings she thought were long dead in relation to her spiritual life as well. After finding out Will had married Delia, she’d struggled to not be mad at God for leading her on. For letting her believe so strongly in something that wasn’t to be. And now that she was having to watch her life fall apart around her once more, Amy couldn’t help but feel like she’d been let down again. What was it about her that God couldn’t just let her live her life? She didn’t think she’d asked for much. A career she enjoyed. A good man to love and spend her lifewith. And maybe two or three children down the road. She wasn’t longing for fame or fortune, but it seemed even her simple dreams were not to be easily attained.
Though the sermon hadn’t been a particularly convicting one, Amy was glad when the service ended. Will stood and stepped into the aisle to allow Amy to exit the row. She moved toward the doors at the back of the sanctuary, conscious of Will following her. Once in the foyer, she looked around for Laurel. Before Will could say anything, Amy headed in her direction.
“Hey, Laurel.”
“Hi, Amy. How’re you doing?” Laurel asked with a smile.
“I’m fine. Just wondering if you’d be able to take Julia back to the manor with you. I need to take care of a few things this afternoon.”
Laurel’s brow furrowed momentarily but then she nodded. “One of us will have room for her.” She paused, laying a hand on her arm. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Amy felt an urge to spill everything, but held it in and nodded. “Besides, it will give you guys time with just your family. You’ve been so good about including me, but I think you could use some family time.”
