“Thanks. True to his last act, he came and completely mind fucked me.” She put her head in her hands, and my heart breaks for her.
I go to her and wrap my arms around her.
“I’m sorry you had to deal with his shit again. Can I do anything? I can go kick his ass for you,” I offer.Just give me the word and I will.My hand automatically goes to stroking her hair, her head now resting on my chest. I wish she would never leave from this embrace. This is what I want.
“He said he wants me back,” she adds. I freeze.What the fuck? What is he doing?
“Oh,” is all I can manage to say, my body not following any instructions to move or act normal.
“I don’t know what to do,” she says. I can hear the confusion and despair in her voice.
I am now at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say to her. I want to keep seeing her, but I don’t want to put that pressure on her. But this jack off has the audacity to come and dump it on her? Everything was going fine an hour ago. Now everything is fucked up and slipping out of my reach.
I move my hands to her face, tilting her chin up. I can get lost in her beautiful eyes. My thumbs graze against her soft cheeks, but I can’t form the words.I can’t sayI need you.
“You can go if you want. This is getting pretty complicated,” she offers me an out.
“Are you going to be okay? I feel like you need some time to process,” I reply, moving my hands down to her shoulders.
“I will be okay, and yeah; I need some time for my head to stop swirling,” she says, stepping back from me, putting distance between us. I feel like shit. I want her in my arms again. To help her feel better. To never let her feel this pain again.
I nod, and try and hold back my sorrow.
“Call me, if you need me. Otherwise, I’ll see you at the track in a few days,” I reply. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I head to the door. I open the door and pause.
Looking back at her, I say, “If ‘us’ is too complicated, you can take us out of the equation. I don’t want to add to your stress and worries.”
She nods and I can see her eyes water again, and I hate I have caused it. But I’m trying to be better for her.
I dip my head and leave. I can’t look at her again. I will take it all back in a heartbeat.
I head back down to the bar in a daze. Why did I back out so quickly? I should have said something better.
Riley sees my face and knows it didn’t go as planned.
“I gave her time to think,” I offer before he asks.
He gives me a subdued smile and says, “Guess we will see what happens. And at least you’ll still have her in the pits. A positive.”
I nod, not wanting to talk about it anymore.
This has turned into a really fucking shit day.
My sleep is interrupted by my ringing phone.
Hopeful, I reach for it, expecting Sophia’s name to appear, but it’s Dad calling.
“Hello, Dad, how are you and Mum going? Enjoying your trip?” I ask.
“Hi, Javi!” they both answer. “The trip is amazing! So glad we finally did it!” Mum replies.
“We were able to watch the latest race! You did a great job. The team must be so happy,” Dad adds. There’s only one person in the team I can think about being happy right now.
“Yeah, the team are working really well together,” I contribute to the conversation.
We catch up on where they have travelled to and their next few stops before outlining when they will most likely have reception again.
Then Mum comes in with insight. “Are you okay, sweetie? You sound a little off.”
