I sigh as I walk up to him, then place a hand on the left side of his chest before giving him a smile. “You really wanna hear what I think about this?” I ask. “Because you may not like it.”
He wraps his fingers around my wrist and gives it a gentle squeeze. “Try me.”
I rise and press a long kiss on his lips. “I think that you’re nervous,” I state plainly. “And knowing that you’re nervous is scaring you, Dor. It’s one of the most toxic combinations of emotions to have, and while I know it’s easier said than done, I don’t want you to let this feeling overwhelm you.”
“Then what do Ido, Cigs? I hate that I’m doubting myself. It’s a foreign concept to me, and I want it fucking gone.”
“Well, reassert your self confidence, for one. I’m not asking you to stop practicing for this match, but make sure you’re doing it more for the clarity of your mind than for proving yourself to a group of people. I’ve known you for a little over two years, so trust me when I tell you that all the voices in your head right now that are screaming at you to question yourself? Yeah, they are fucking irrelevant. They don’t deserve your attention, least of all your uncertainty. Youhaveto let them drown; you’ve got no need for them.” I use my other hand to cup the side of his face, bringing it close to mine. “You are enough, Dorran Ledger. For me, for those you and I love – you are more than enough. Nothing and no one willevercompare to you, I want you to remember that.”
He lets go of a breath, and his chest rumbles softly as he chuckles against my lips. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?” I ask.
“Make everything better.”
I laugh. “I’d doanythingfor you, Dor. If what I’ve just said has helped you even in the slightest, then I’ll consider it a win. You’ve put me back on track so many times. The least I can do is return the favor.”
“Hey, we don’t do favors in this relationship, alright?” he muses.
I grin when I see the familiar glint in his eyes return, if only partially. “Well, my bad, I guess.”
Dorran shakes his head around a smile, bringing his hands to my waist before pulling me flush against his hard frame. “You’re my fucking moonshot, Little Swan,” he says, searching my face. “My beginning and my end. Myeverything.” He leans in and presses his lips to mine, humming against them when I open up for him.
“I like that sound,” he whispers.
I grin again. “Good.” I push against him as I kiss him harder.
“Uh-huh.” He glides his hands lower, to the back of my thighs, then lifts me up before wrapping his arms around my waist. “I’m going to fuck you now,” he promises hoarsely, then presses his teeth against my bottom lip. “And you’re going to love every goddamn second of it.”
38.
Have I mentioned before that I completely, undeniably love this man? Because I do – so much so that I’m practically intoxicated by him. Whipped out of my ass and fully ready to march into hell with him by my side.
Too dramatic? Yeah, I think so too. But like, it’sus, so I’m more than okay with it.
Dorran sets me down on the caramel brown sectional in the living room, then steps back before sliding a hand inside the pocket of his blue joggers. He pulls his switchblade out from inside it and is about to place it on the little mahogany table next to the sectional’s armrest, but I stop him by reaching forward and grabbing the blade from him.
“I’ll take that, thank you.”
He quirks a brow at me as his lips twist up in a half smile. “What are you up to now, you menace?”
In answer, I take off my lavender, laced-trimmed top and underwear, then press my back against the sectional. “You’ll see.” I can feel Dorran’s gaze on me as I flick open the switchblade, and hear his breaths stuttering when I look up at him.
I twist the weapon around as I spread my legs wide, then bring its gleaming handle downward before touching it to my clit. “Fuck,” the word leaves me in a whisper when the cold yet inviting metal presses against my sensitive bud, sending tingles throughout my body.
“JesusChrist, woman,” Dorran hisses. “Are you trying to give me a cardiac arrest? Because it’s working.”
“It would bequitea shame if you did end up getting one right now,” I muse, then drag the handle lower before sliding it inside me. My toes curl, and a moan escapes me as the handle’s hilt pushes against my entrance. I feel a gentle yet sharp brush of the blade against my skin, so I pull out the handle and glide it back inside me again, starting a slow rhythm of fucking myself with it. My ears are drumming with the soft and erratic beat of my heart; my head is hazy with the absolute need for release.
I meet Dorran’s eager gaze, then use my free hand to hook a finger into his waistband before pulling him to me. “Take off your joggers,” I order.
He does as I’ve asked in an instant, baring his jutting cock to me. A thick bead of precum is dripping down his wide crown and tainting his piercing, which makes me swallow and fuck myself faster.
“If I fall dead right now, I’m blaming you for it,” he mumbles.
I laugh a little. “Drama queen.”
He’s about to retort – because why wouldn’t he – but ends up groaning out loud when I cup his balls and take his cock into my mouth.
