“It’s fine. I really don’t mind.” He clears his throat. “I already apologized, so I’m not going to do that again. I’m going to tell you why I lied. It wasn’t for the bullshit reasons I gave you. I didn’t realize that until the other day.” He pulls in a breath. “Drake came to my house…more like broke into my house. Anyway, he pretty much kicked my ass about what happened. Because I’m a colossal idiot, he had to point everything out to me, and I’ve been doing some thinking since then. I realized that he was right about everything. I fucking hate that he was right.” He says the last part more to himself than to me.
“Drake went to see you as well?” I ask. Looks like someone has an agenda.
“He came here?” Grim asks. Then he rolls his eyes and groans. “Of course he did. The meddling prick.” I hear genuine affection in his voice. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. He came to encourage me to take the money. To tell me that you wanted to give me your portion. Thanks, but no.” I shake my head. “And to tell me how wonderful you are. How kind and giving.”
Grim makes a noise of disgust. “I’m sure he exaggerated a whole lot.”
“He didn’t.” I sniff and shift in my seat to try to get more comfortable. “He said you had a big heart, and he’s right, you do. You’re kind and generous.”
“I am not!” he grumbles.
I start to laugh, but stop myself. “Don’t argue. You are, but it doesn’t mean I can look past what happened. Tim hurt me so badly. I promised myself that I would never be with someone who lied to me. Not ever again. I ignored the white lies Tim told, and look where it got me. I gave him years of my life. I found myself in my late twenties with nothing to show for it except a pile of debt. Here’s the thing: you would hurt me so much more than he ever could.”
Because I already feel more for you. So much more.
I chew on my lip for a second before continuing, “If I let you in and you hurt me, I would be…I’d be broken. I can’t trust you with my heart. Oh, shit!” I look down at my lap.What did I just say?“You probably came here to tell me you wanted to be friends. To try to mend that bridge, and here I am telling you that you can’t have my heart.”
Why had I gone straight there? Why?
“Forget I said all of that,” I mutter.
“I won’t forget because Idowant your heart. That’s exactly why I’m here. I’m here to bare my soul and to get on my fucking knees if I have to and to beg you to give me a chance to prove I am a male who deserves someone like you…a male who deserves to have something as precious as your heart.”
“Oh…okay, well, good. No, nooooo, not good.” I shake my head. “No, no, no. That’s not good at all, Grim. I just told you that you can’t have it, and I meant it.”
“I wasn’t in love with Jordyn. I cared for her. I liked her. We forced a mind-bond, and it nearly killed me when she betrayed me and left. The things I was feeling for you superseded that tenfold…easily, and it scared the living shit out of me. I didn’t want to feel pain like that again. I didn’t want to give someone power over me like that again.” The words come out in a rush. “That’s why I lied. I didn’t want to trust you. I couldn’t, because trusting you would have meant admitting my feelings for you…not just to you but to myself. If I admitted those feelings, I would have had to acknowledge them. I couldn’t do that, so I lied instead. I shouldn’t have, Wren. Falkor was right; I’m a fool.”
“Falkor?” I lift my brows.
“He might have given me a nudge as well. They’re both meddlers, but they’re right.” He sighs.
My heart is thumping so hard I’m sure it might break a rib.
“I sabotaged what we had going. I chose to bury my head and to lie to myself, to both of us, and it didn’t work. I’m in love with you, Wren. So fucking deeply in love. I tried to protect myself, but it all backfired. I was stupid. I’m a fucking idiot. I had a chance with you, and I blew it because I was scared. More terrified than I’ve ever been in all my life. I ended up losing you, and Iambroken. A shell. I’m nothing without you.”
“Is it because of the broken mind-bond?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “It’s a part of it…a small part. It’s about our broken everything-bond.”
“Everything-bond?” I repeat like an idiot. “What is that exactly?”
“It’s just that I’m not just mind-bonded to you, Wren. Every part of me is bonded to you. My heart, my fucking soul…my dick.”
I choke out a laugh, and a tear slips out. I wipe it away.
“Sorry, I know it’s crass. But it’s how I feel.”
“No, I…it’s… I like how forward you are. It’s one of the things I really like about you.”
“It is how I am, Wren.” He pushes the dogs off his lap. “Sorry,” he tells them. Then he gets on his knees in front of me and takes my hands. “I’m not a liar. I swear to you, I’m not. I am a coward when it comes to you… Iwasa coward. Iwasafraid. Actually, I still am afraid. I love you, and that means you can hurt me badly…you could rip me apart.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, Grim. I was afraid too. I was almost relieved when things fell apart between us. Drake pointed that out to me in a roundabout way. I let you push me away because it was easier than facing the truth. I guess in a way I lied too. I did the same thing. I took the easy road.”
“Do you want to be brave with me? I promise to adore you and love you. I don’t have to give you my heart because you already have it. It’s yours.”
“How did you get so romantic?” I giggle, and a few more tears slip out. Tears of happiness.
