My dogs run around his legs, going nuts, jumping all over him, yapping like fools.
The traitors!
He gives me the barest hint of a smile, and my heart does this lurchy stuttery thing I don’t like at all.
Grim goes down on his haunches. “Hi, Butter. Hi, Peanut.” He scratches them behind the ears.
“It’s the other way around,” I tell him, my voice slightly too high-pitched.
He looks up at me, and I feel so much and all at once. I feel a flood of love and relief that he’s here. I also feel anger and hurt and betrayal. All my emotions are warring with each other, fighting for dominance.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him.
Grim gives the dogs one more scratch and stands. He looks…broken. The look in his eyes almost undoes me.
I want to fix him and hurt him. I want to kiss him and slap him. All in equal measure. I’m so confused.
“Please, will you let me come inside?” he asks, his voice a deep rasp. “Will you hear me out…please?”
I shake my head. “That’s not a good idea, Grim.”
“I don’t want to leave things the way they are. I need a chance to tell you a few things. Please, Wren. I know I don’t deserve it. I know I was wrong…but please.”
I hesitate. I keep telling myself to call the dogs in and to close the door, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to hear him out, either. I’m frozen and panicking a little.
“It’s River,” he says, licking his lips.
I frown. “Sorry…um…what? What do you mean?”
“My name. The one my parents gave me…it’s River.”
I shiver. I feel it run through my whole body. “Oh…um…” I nod, not trusting myself to say more.
“I told you more about myself than I’ve ever told anyone. It may not have been a whole hell of a lot, but it was…the important parts. I was lost and damaged for a while there. But I didn’t feel that way when I was with you. I felt whole. I felt seen. I just felt…” He pauses. “And all because of you, Wren. My given name is River. You said you didn’t know it, well, now you do.”
“It suits you,” I manage to say. I can barely get the words out, I’m so filled with emotion.
“Please give me five minutes, and then you can kick me out.” He looks at me with such expectation, such hope.
I make a noise of irritation, my eyes pricking with tears.
“Fine, come in. I doubt it will change much,” I warn him, shaking my head. I can’t take him back. I can’t, and I won’t. It doesn’t matter what he says. I need to stay strong.
“Thank you,” he tells me.
I step back, and Peanut and Butter go nuts when they realize we have a guest. We go through to the living room and take a seat.
We sit on different sofas. Butter jumps up onto Grim’s lap.
“No, Butter…you…”
He holds up a hand. “It’s fine.” Peanut jumps up as well. Good thing he’s so big.
“Are you sure?”
He nods.
“Kick them off if they’re being—”
