“Yes, I can. But I know that I can’t change it either.” He blew out another of those exhausted breaths and closed his eyes. He brought his hand up to massage the bridge of his nose. “My partner, Juan, had been anticipating a move out of state, and left soon after all of this went down. I put myself on desk duty following the incident because I wasn’t comfortable being back out on the streets, but my supervisor has been hounding me to get back into the field. I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I wasn’t sure if I wouldeverbe ready.”
When he opened his eyes again and looked down at her, Leah’s heart broke in two. There was such hurt there. So much disappointment.
How could this man—a man strong enough to go to war for his country, to work tirelessly to lock up some of the worst people on the planet—ever be disappointed in himself? He was the kind of person everyone else in the world should strive to be.
Leah sat up so that he could see her.Reallysee her. She took his hands in hers and rubbed his calloused palms with her fingers.
“Caleb, I won’t even pretend to know what you’re going through. There are horrible people in this world, and all I can do is be grateful that there are people like you who are strong enough to go out and fight them. I’m ashamed at how blissfully ignorant I am of the kind of horrors you have to face every day.”
“Don’t be ashamed,” he said. “That’s one of the reasons I do it, so that the rest of the world doesn’t have to.”
“Exactly. You put your life on the line—you put your own peace of mind on the line—so that the rest of us can have peace. But you should also recognize that you can’t save everyone. Mistakes are made. And, yes, I know the stakes in this particular event were high and the results devastating, but think about how many other cases you have been on throughout the years where youdidcatch the bad guy before he was able to harm others.” She brought his fingers to her lips and pressed a gentle kiss on the tips. “How many more cases will you have in the future where you will save a child or a young teen from a life so horrible that my brain won’t even allow me to imagine it?”
Leah cradled his strong jaw with her palm. “Because of people like you in this world, the rest of us can sleep more soundly at night. What you do? What your colleagues do every single day? It’s more than most people can even fathom. Don’t walk away from that, Caleb. I’m selfishly asking you not to walk away. The world needs you to continue being a hero.”
Gratitude and regret coalesced in his soulful brown eyes. He pulled in another deep breath and slowly released it.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he finally said. “I knew I wasn’t going anywhere even before I came here. I just needed some time away to get my mind right before I go back out into the field.”
“Is this weekend helping with that?” she asked.
He brought his hand up and captured the back of her head. “So much more than you’ll ever know.”
Caleb pulled her to him, crashing his lips against hers. His tongue quickly entered her mouth, sweeping inside, tangling with hers in an erotically intimate kiss that set off every single one of her nerve endings. Over and over again, his tongue plunged and retreated, lighting Leah’s body on fire.
He captured her hips and moved her so that she straddled his lap, her tender center coming into contact with the thick bulge straining behind his zipper. Leah’s body moved on its own accord, rocking frantically against him, seeking that friction—needing it. She rubbed her breasts against his chest, her sensitive nipples tightening even more with every erotic brush.
Caleb dipped his head and sucked on her nipple through the fabric of her shirt and bra. He gently bit at the tip. The sensation shot straight to that place between her legs that ached for his touch. God, she wanted him to touch her.
She ground her hips against him and bowed her back, reaching for relief.
Caleb seized her lips again, plunging his tongue inside, swirling it around hers. One hand sought her breast, while the other clamped on her ass and squeezed, holding her body still as he pumped his hips up and down.
Leah had never been so close to coming while being fully dressed.
“We can’t do this out here,” Caleb whispered against her lips. He trailed his tongue across her jawline and down her neck. “Let’s go inside.”
Leah’s body screamedyes, but her mind drew to a halt.
Nothing in this world would be easier than following Caleb into their cabin and falling into bed with him. But the ramifications of such a momentous decision would stretch far and wide.
This would not be casual sex. Taking this next step would mean committing to more than just a night full of undoubtedly the most pleasure she’d experienced in ages. She couldn’t just walk away, not after everything they’d shared.
Was she ready to take this leap so soon after breaking off the shackles of her relationship with Derrick?
No. Leah knew she couldn’t dive right back into a relationship, no matter how badly she wanted to turn her body over to Caleb’s very capable hands. She just couldn’t do it. It was too soon.
“Caleb, stop,” Leah said. She pushed at his shoulder. “Please. Stop.”
She could see his pulse beating in his neck. Desire blazed in his potent gaze.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb asked.
“I—” Leah started, but she could not find the words to explain.
“You’re not ready,” he said for her, dejection bruising his voice.
Her shoulders slumped with disappointment. “I’m so sorry,” Leah whispered.
“You don’t have to be sorry.” He placed the gentlest kiss on her forehead before lifting her from his lap. He captured her chin between his fingers and kissed her again, on the lips this time. It was soft and sweet and achingly tender.
“I understand,” Caleb said. “I have to keep reminding myself that you were engaged just a couple of days ago. I’m not going to push you to do anything you’re uncomfortable doing.”
Relief replaced her disappointment. “So youdoget it,” Leah said.
“Yeah, I get it.” He brushed his fingers along her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere. Not this weekend, or in the weeks and months to come. When youareready, I’ll be here.”
He helped her up from the bench and together they went inside, Caleb taking up the spot on the couch while she settled into the bed. But it was a long time before her mind allowed her to drift to sleep.
