And these pictures would be with donors, not with Nate, so it lessened the anxiety surrounding things.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly, but he maintained his stiff posture and didn't even stoop to lean close.
"Sort of anxious, but I'll be alright," I said through my smile.
"I know I told you I'd get you out of this, but?—"
"Hey," I said, turning to face him.
I didn't move closer, so if anyone was looking they'd just see two colleagues talking casually, but I did smile warmly. "I said I'll be alright. Besides… after talking to a few people in my building, I think I don’t mind as much."
His shoulders seemed to relax marginally, but he didn’t get a chance to respond as people started approaching the table.
The first donors arrived within minutes and every one of them wanted to chat about how good it was to give to those less fortunate.
I smiled at each of them, thanking them for their generosity and helping them unload their contributions.
The repetitive motion was soothing, and for brief moments, I could forget about the whispers and the cameras.
But the whispers were everywhere.
I heard them when I bent to organize toys in the bins.
Saw them in the way people glanced at me and then quickly looked away while snickering or scowling in disapproval.
It felt shameful for me to even exist, which was such a feeling of deja vu from my past.
Their expressions haunted me and reminded me of how awful it felt to simply exist.
Two women approached the table with bags of clothing, and I recognized them from the hospital cafeteria.
They worked in administration, though I couldn't remember their names.
One of them smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Such a wonderful event," she said, setting her bag on the table. "You and Dr. Bradley make quite the team." The emphasis on the last word was subtle but obvious.
Her insinuation that more was going on behind the scenes was offensive and also made guilt coil around my conscience.
Because she was right—something was going on—but it was none of her business.
And it wasn't anything two normal adults should be ashamed of, anyway.
"We're happy to serve the community," I replied calmly, but my heart leapt into my throat.
"I'm sure you are." The other woman exchanged a glance with her companion. "It must be exciting, working so closely with the Dean of Medicine."
I forced myself to keep smiling. "It's been a great learning experience, being his assistant."
They lingered for another moment, clearly hoping I'd say more, before finally moving away.
I exhaled slowly and went back to sorting toys with shaking hands, but it ruffled my feathers.
Under any other circumstance that conversation would've been a joy.
Someone noticing my hard work and commending me?
I loved that sort of thing.
