“Hello, thank you for calling the Portland Birthing Center. This is Dolly speaking. How can I help you?”
“Hi, Dolly. This is Daisy Turner. I have an appointment tomorrow morning, and unfortunately, I’m going to have to cancel it.”
“When would you like to reschedule for?”
“I’ll have to call back, I’m sorry.”
She paused, and I braced for what I knew was coming. “Are you aware of our cancelation policy? This is considered less than twenty-four hours’ notice.”
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry. I was…on my honeymoon, and I completely forgot.”
“Unfortunately, I can’t make an exception for you.”
If that wasn’t the story of my relationship with Todd’s…world, I didn’t know what was.
“I understand.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to reschedule? It would spare you the fee, and the twenty-four-week ultrasound is a veryimportant checkpoint for development. You shouldn’t put this off.”
“I know,” I snapped, unable to handle a single shred more of judgment on my shoulders. Tears sprouted in the corners of my eyes. “I know this appointment is important. Every appointment for her is important, but unfortunately, I can’t make this one right now?—”
“I’m going to have to charge you the late fee?—”
“I’m sure Senator McCormick can afford it. I believe his card is on file,” I said and hung up before she decided to scold me further.
The only thing I hated more than hanging up on the woman was using my ex-almost-father-in-law’s name to get me out of this jam. Not once since meeting them did I feel a sense of shame for anything they judged me for. My looks. My upbringing. My work ethic. My missing social connections. But I felt ashamed now. Not for being unable to afford the birthing center without them, but for using their name to get me out of a tight spot. I didn’t want to rely on them—I never had—but dropping the McCormick name was the only hope I had for dissuading the center from actually charging the card Todd put on our account.
“Daisy?” Max appeared next to the open door.
Gasping, I stood quickly from the bed of the van, my phone clattering to the ground as I bumped it from my hand. If he heard me…if he knew…My heart stammered in an unsteady beat.
“What’s up? Are you finished?” I asked, wiping my tears on the soft sleeve of my tee as I bent to pick up my cell.
Max’s expression was drawn tight when I looked at him, my lungs holding my breath hostage until he spoke, “Yeah, I’m done. We can head out.”
I thought I nodded, I hoped I did, and then I spun for the passenger door, which Max still beat me to hold open. “Thanks.”
Unlike Todd’s parents, who the thought of relying on them made me physically nauseous, Max was the opposite. Relying on Max didn’t make me sick with shame, but ache with undeserved longing.
“Everything okay?” he asked once he joined me in the van and started the engine.
No, but it would be soon,I thought, and rested my hand on my stomach as he started to drive. Almost instantly, I felt the churn of worry start to settle.It would be soon, little sprout.As soon as I started saving. As soon as I got on MaineStems’s insurance policy. As soon as I stopped needing to rely on the man next to me so much.
“Yeah.” I smiled through my guilt.
Max offered health insurance to his employees. I knew because Todd had been on it until he left the business, and his parents bought him a private plan that I was supposed to go on.
Health insurance wasn’t the first thing to cross my mind when I realized Todd had jilted me. It wasn’t even the second or third thing when I was managing hurdles like where I was going to live and where I was going to have to work to afford to live. But now that I was settled into the apartment, I was starting to face all the other consequences of Todd’s abandonment, like having no car of my own to even get to my job.
“You can’t continue to drive that rust bucket, Daisy. It’s not safe for the baby.”
My 2003 VW bug wasn’t completely full of rust, but that wasn’t the point. Todd wanted me in a Mercedes like his, like his parents drove. And he knew just how to get me to agree to it.“After the wedding, we’ll go and you can pick out a nice, safe SUV in whichever color you want.”
Without a car, I’d relied on Max to give me a ride to the warehouse every morning, both of us pretending it was just part of the job.
Health insurance was a different story. I needed itASAP. I hadn’t broached the subject yet because I was still in training this week, but come Monday, I’d ask. I’d have to.
I hated to feel like I was asking more from them, from Max, when he’d already done—was doing—so much, but I didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t getting any less pregnant. Even with insurance, I couldn’t afford the birthing center in Portland, which meant I’d have to find a new doctor, a new hospital. There was one just outside of Stonebar, but I had no idea what their facility was like.
