“Why are you canceling doctors’ appointments, Daze?” Max growled after a single strained minute.
Every muscle I had tensed.He’d heard.
“Why are you listening to other people’s phone calls?” I countered, trying to keep my voice light and teasing. Maybe if I made it seem like no big deal, he’d drop it.
“I’m serious, Daze. If it’s because it would interfere with work, please tell me. I can have someone cover?—”
“No.” I tried to protest. He was getting the wrong idea, and I couldn’t stop him.
“After everything, after all this time, if you think I wouldn’t let you take time off to go to a doctor’s appointment for the baby…” He trailed off, and I looked over at him, shocked by the hurt on his face. “Is that really what you think of me?”
“No,” I blurted out, my chest feeling like it was splitting in two. Why was it every time I tried to protect myself from embarrassment, from vulnerability, it was at the expense of the one man who’d done more for me than anyone, especially over the last few weeks?
Max stared at me, his warm eyes screaming for an explanation.
“Of course, that’s not what I think of you, Max. It’s just…” I said, my tongue slowly untangling the vulnerability knotted on its tip. “I don’t have insurance yet. That’s why I canceled theappointment. Well, that and it was at this fancy birthing center in Portland that I couldn’t afford anyway.”
“What do you mean you don’t have insurance?”
My throat worked for a second. “I mean, Todd was going to put me on his as soon as we were…married.” It was strange how the idea sounded so implausible now. Only two weeks after he’d disappeared. “It’s fine. I’ll just wait until I go on your…on MaineStems insurance. It’s just a few weeks, right? I’m assuming after orientation and…” I trailed off as all the color started to drain from his face. “Max?”
“Three months.”
“W-What?” I didn’t, couldn’t have heard?—
His voice was hollow. “The waiting period for insurance as an employee is three months.”
Three…
I’d have a baby by then.
“Can you pull over?”
He swung the van off to the side of the road, hardly coming to a complete stop before he threw it in park and tried to get to the passenger door. He didn’t make it in time.
I pushed open the door, my head barely clearing the doorframe before my blueberry smoothie from earlier, along with the jam and crackers, made an encore appearance onto the ground.
“Shit, Daze.”
“I’m fine,” I said, though I was anything but. I wanted to shrug off his hand, but if I was being honest, it might’ve been the only thing holding me together.
“You’re not fine.” His hand rubbed slow circles on my back, the other gently gathering my hair back in case I threw up again.
I would be fine. I had to be fine.I had to get health insurance.
Clutching my stomach, I straightened and looked at him. There was no shame. Not anymore. Not when it came to my baby. “Can you make an exception?”
From his expression, you’d think my question had been a hot poker driven through his gut.
“I can’t, Daze. If I could…if there were any way—” He broke off with a ragged breath. “It’s against the law for me to make an exception for you. Benefits have to be equal for every employee.”
It took a second to process what he’d said. The weight of what I’d unknowingly asked him to do and the reality of why he couldn’t.
“It’s okay,” I said quickly and pulled away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…didn’t know there were rules. I didn’t mean to ask you to break them.”
“Daze—”
“I’ll figure something out,” I insisted, knowing if I let him continue, he’d do exactly what he said he couldn’t. He’d break every rule to be my knight in shining armor, and I couldn’t let him. He’d already done so much. I drew the line at him breaking the law to save me. “Don’t worry about it, Max. Please, let’s just finish our deliveries.”
