Ozzie had to use every ounce of strength to keep from howling with laughter.
The old man on the phone fell silent for a moment and Ozzie took that small window to quickly say, “Mr. Louis, I’m so sorry to run, but it’s my lunch time, and my dogreallyneeds to go out! I’m so glad we got your cell phone back on?—”
Derrick whined louder.
“Please call back if you have any other issues! Have a great day and thanks for calling Graham Tech Support!” Ozzie waited just long enough for a goodbye from the client so as not to seem rude, and then pushed the button to hang up the call. “Jesus, thanks.”
“No problem!” Derrick grinned. “You had that look on your face that saidplease rescue me.”
“Yes.” Ozzie sighed heavily and slipped the headset off. “So very much. I fixed his issue almost half an hour ago. His phone was in airplane mode.”
“I could not do your job. I’d get fired so quick.”
“You get used to it.” Ozzie chuckled. “I can usually tune them out.” His stomach gurgled. “What did you bring? I’m starving.”
“I grabbed Subway. Boring. But here’s the real treat. We got the full grandma goodies haul.” Derrick handed him the stack of Tupperware. “Snickerdoodle cookies, fudge, and brownies. And yes, those would be pentagrams made out of walnuts on the brownies.”
“No way! Aw, that’s fucking cool.” Ozzie’s heart immediately warmed.
While his family didn’t understand him turning from their traditions to pursue witchcraft, they supported him in his decision entirely. Sweet shows of support like this were common, and it always warmed his heart.
He opened the brownies to admire the pentagram. “That is pretty much the best thing I’ve ever seen.”
“She’s pretty proud of them. You need to text her and tell her. And yes, I said text.” Derrick chuckled. “Granny has learned the joy of smart phones, and now never wants to speak to anyone on the phone ever again”
“Text?” Ozzie laughed.
The mental image of his dear sweet grandmother squinting through her inch-thick glasses to text was pretty hilarious.
“That’s pretty awesome,” Ozzie said. “Maybe I’ll send her some emojis and really blow her mind.”
“Just be careful,” Derrick cautioned. “She’s still learning what all the different emojis mean. Like, she sent Mom a bunch of eggplants and a splash to tell her the eggplant parmesan was too soggy, so. Just don’t read too much into stuff.”
“Oh, no!” Ozzie cackled, closing his eyes tightly as his face scrunched up with horror. “No, that’s… Maybe we should get her a chart?”
“If you think it would help.”
“Worth a shot. Might save her from giving one of her old lady friends a heart attack.” Ozzie closed the container of brownies, choosing instead to go for the snickerdoodles. He grabbed two and offered one to Derrick. “These are what I’ve been waiting for.”
Derrick tapped his cookie against Ozzie’s. “Fuck yeah.”
Ozzie took a big bite and immediately groaned. “Thisis what the holidays taste like.”
“Yeah.” Derrick shoved the entire cookie in his mouth. “Fuck, Granny is the best.”
“Agreed.” Ozzie headed to the fridge to get something to wash the cookie down with. He grabbed a can of cola, asking, “What do you want?”
“Soda’s fine.” Derrick plopped down at the breakfast table, opening up the fast-food bag to divvy out the subs and chips. “Make sure you text Granny and thank her. And I do mean text. If you call, she probably won’t answer.”
“I will.” Ozzie chuckled as he walked over to the table, passing Derrick a can of soda as he took his seat.
The idea of Granny ignoring his calls in favor of a text was amusing to say the least.
“So.” Ozzie opened his chips to munch on. “You all ready for Christmas?”
“Ready as I can be, I guess.” Derrick snorted. “You know me. Not a big fan of the holidays. Any of them.”
Ozzie nodded, mumbling through his chip, “I understand completely.”
