“Okay. I just thought…” He trails off, shaking his head.
“You just thought?”
“I don’t know, man. I’m not trying to push. But they said I should try to get you to talk when something’s bothering you—so you don’t shut down and go looking for an escape. And this? Alley? Of course it’s going to bother you. Fuck, it bothers me.”
I let out a breathy chuckle. “Well, I don’t exactly feel like diving into the fact that my wife hasn’t asked about me in four months. Or that I’m going home to an empty apartment and a stack of divorce papers. I’m not spiraling. I don’t want to use. Would I like a drink? Yeah. But I’m not going to. I just need to process it. I’m okay. Promise.”
“Alright. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. I didn’t know how to tell you.”
I attempt a smile. “It’s alright. I get it. I’m still going to do everything I can to get her back, though. I love her too much to just let her go. Even if she doesn’t love me anymore.” My gaze flicks to the table, then back to Matt. “I just thought she’d at least wait, you know? Wait to see me clean. I never thought she’d file while I was in rehab.” I pause, swallowing hard. “I need her to see me this way. To trust me again. I just want another chance—not to break her heart this time.”
I pause, trying to keep myself together. “I’ll respect her decision. I will. Eventually. But I’m not going down without a fight. I can’t.”
“I get that. And I respect it.” He offers a small smile. “I miss her, too.” Then he picks up his glass and drains the rest of his drink. “And I’m fucking rooting for you.”
The corners of my mouth lift. That makes two of us.
If she asked me to walk away, I would. But only if I knew—really knew—that it’s what she wanted.
But not before I burn the fucking world down for her.
This isn’t just some girl I fell in love with—had a good ride while it lasted. This isAlley.My best friend. My other half.
My wife.
And I don’t care what anyone says—therapist or not—it’s not fucking normal to just accept it and move on.
You fight for the ones you love.
Alley did.
For me.
And dammit, you’d better believe I’ll do the same for her.
Chapter Five
ALLEY
Sweat dripsdown my face as I reach for my towel. I blot hard, then chug half my water bottle in one go.
Holy shit. That felt good.
This is my third day in a row doing hot yoga with Cooper. We went Sunday afternoon after our night out and—she was right—I loved it. Hot flow is incredible. I’ve gone with her the last two nights after work, too. She takes a six-thirty class every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
Tonight’s instructor was my favorite. She kicked my ass, but somehow it was still relaxing—rejuvenating. And Cooper was right, I didn’t think about Jensen. For a full hour, three days in a row now, I haven’t thought about him.
I roll up my mat, welcoming the cooler air that’s close to the ground. Sweat’s still dripping down my forehead when I meet Cooper by the door.
“So, what’d you think of Rebecca?” she asks as we head to the dressing room for a shower.
“She was tough, but I really liked her. Her voice is so soothing. Like, my body is exhausted, but I feel like I just took a nap. How is that even possible?”
Cooper laughs. “Right? She’s my favorite. And I knew you’d love it. This shit’s my therapy. It heals the soul.”
I hang my towel on the hook outside the showers and reach in, turning the knob to cold. No way in hell I want hot water right now. I peel my soaked leggings off, then drop them into a waterproof bag.
“Leo keeps trying to talk me into real therapy,” I say. “He means well, and maybe he’s right, but I’d rather just talk to him. Why go spill my guts to some rando when I can pick his brain for free?” I laugh as Cooper pulls her sports bra over her head, and I follow suit.
