She turned in her chair, eyeliner in hand, and glared at me. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing I want to get into now,” I said, moving to sit on the bed once my hair was up. “Can I borrow your concealer when you’re done?”
Her eyes narrowed. “You’re already wearing more makeup than usual.”
I’d done a decent job covering the welt Mark had given me since the bruise hadn’t fully formed yet. “There’ll be photographers at the event,” I explained. “Those cameras pick up everything. So, who’s the guy?”
Gretchen sighed, no stranger to my deflection. Tonight wasn’t about anything except pulling off a spectacular event. I’d tell her everything when I was ready.
“Page thirty,” she relented and pointed to theUS WeeklyI’d tossed on the bed. I picked it up and flipped to the “Celeb Sightings” column. “Which one?”
“Graham Broderick!”
My eyes went to the tall, attractive man in a baseball cap and fitted t-shirt with a gym bag over one shoulder. “Whoa. Doesn’t he have a movie coming out? He’s arealcelebrity, Gretchen. And so gorgeous.”
She smiled and turned back to the mirror. “I haven’t even told you the best part. Graham’s my date tonight. That should get you guys some good publicity.”
It definitely would. I should’ve been elated, but I could only stare at the page. Graham’s chiseled jawline and muscled frame were a good match for David’s classic, indisputable beauty. But in my eyes, the two men didn’t even compare. It just went to show that there was more to David than his looks. His attractiveness somehow grew the more I got to know him. With his eyes on me, nobody else existed. Not to me, but more importantly—not to him.
“If I see in your eyes all the things you’re too scared to admit one more time, then it’s on . . . I will fight for you with zero regard for the destruction I leave behind.”
It was the first time I’d truly let myself think of his declaration since I’d stormed away from his car.
Because it was an unbearable thought that I couldn’t give him what he asked.
I’d already made my choice. Bill had been nothing but a good husband to me. I couldn’t leave a kind, loving, and understanding man for someone I’d met weeks ago. Someone with whom I’d already experienced fireworks, a passion that had simmered from the start, ignited with our kiss, exploded in more than one volatile argument. David and I fought in ways Bill and I never had.
Who in her right mind would leave the safety of land and dive headfirst into treacherous waters?
Gretchen whisked on some mascara, glancing back-and-forth between her reflection and me. She screwed the cap back on, got up, and came to sit by me on the bed. “What’s the matter?” she asked. “You can tell me anything. You know that. Did something happen?”
I swallowed. I hadn’t let myself think of Davena, either, afraid I’d break down before I made it to the venue. She’d said, in her own way, to quit playing life so safely. David had echoed her, daring me to stop hiding behind “fine.”
But once I voiced the storm of giddiness, fear, and pressure brewing within me—then my feelings would be real.
Except, theywerereal. They had been since the moment I’d laid eyes on David. And it terrified me that everything I’d worked for could be so easily undone.
If there was one person I could talk to about this, it was Gretchen. Lucy would try to rationalize away my feelings, maybe even scold me for them. But Gretchen never had, and never would, judge me.
I traced the faint paisley pattern of the comforter between us. “I don’t know how to say it.”
She took my hand and squeezed it. “Imagine this thing that’s on your mind is a piece of furniture, like a couch.”
I frowned. “A couch?”
“It’s way too heavy to carry on your own, right? But I’m here to help, knocking at your front door. If you open it for me, I can come in and lift the other side of the couch.”
I half-smiled. “And then what?”
“I don’t know. We move it to another room, one with more light. Or maybe we switch out the pillows. Fuck, we can put it out on the curb for garbage day if you want.”
I laughed a little. As the tension in my shoulders eased, I blew out a breath and opened the front door. “I—there’s this man,” I said. “And I’m attracted to him. I’m attracted to someone else.”
“Oh, thank God.” Gretchen placed her free hand over her heart and exhaled. “You scared me for a second there. I thought it was something really bad, like Bill got you pregnant.”
I smiled, though I suspected she was partly serious. “Itisbad,” I said. “What I’m feeling . . . it’s more than an attraction.”
“Like what? You want to jump this guy’s bones?” She rolled her eyes. “That’s perfectlynormal. To be honest, it’s more abnormal that you’ve never experienced that. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t look.”
