I couldn’t hold myself together for another step. I leaned my back against a scratchy brick wall to pull myself together.
If one night with David could leave me broken this way, what kind of life would ours have been?
Volatile. Unstable. Passionate nights. Explosivefights. A mad, combustible lust . . .
Even knowing the heartache David could cause, I wanted to run back to him now. But my past anchored me where I was. That, and the thought of an unpredictable future that could soar to new heights just as surely as it could crash and burn. Getting wrapped up in David, his mouth on mine, his fingers tightening in my hair—it had already made me forget the truth too many times.
I’d chosen Bill for a reason.
And one day, I’d wake up, my lust for David gone, and I’d know without a doubt that I’d made the right choice.
And I realized in that moment what that choice meant. I hadn’t only said good-bye to David. I’d just committed to the life I’d seen inside that two-story suburban house weeks ago. The one on the realtor’s postcard currently hanging on my refrigerator door. A commute into Chicago, a manicured lawn, a husband who’d work long hours to make sure our family was always comfortable. And the office that would one day be a nursery.
There was no turning back now.
Alone, where nobody could see, I sank down to the ground, put my head in my hands, and sobbed.
