“Well, you have to,” I snapped. “This isn’t something we can try out and see how it goes. Divorce is fucking messy and painful.”
“No shit,” he said. “Can you honestly tell me you’ve never considered it, even without me in the picture?”
“Yes,” I said. “I can honestly say I’ve never considered it.” I shook my head and stepped back. “I don’t know why we’re even discussing this. We have to forget this happened—it was a mistake. I knew it would be even before it happened. I take responsibility.”
He set his jaw. “Call it a mistake if it helps you sleep at night, but I know that’s not how you feel.”
“How I feel in this moment cannot be the reason I upend my entire life. I’m going to walk out that door, and we’re going to move on with our lives, and very soon, we’ll realize this was nothing but lust we shouldn’t have indulged.”
He waited, his brown eyes searching mine. “You don’t believe that at all,” he said.
He was right, but it was an argument I couldn’t afford to lose, so I didn’t respond to it. “You promised you’d leave me alone if I asked you to,” I said.
“If you ask and you mean it, I will.”
“I mean it.” My heart clenched. I had to be the one. I had to make this call for all of us, or things would only get messier. More painful.
I forced any feelings for him aside, straightened my shoulders, and repeated, “I mean it, David.”
After a few moments of silence, his expression smoothed. “You can’t even say it. If you really want me gone, tell me to get the fuck out of your life.”
I stared back at him, urging the final good-bye off my tongue to put an end to us once and for all.
“Isthat,”—he enunciated each word and stepped toward me—“what you want? For me to walk away for good?”
“I . . .”
“Just say it.” He grasped my blanketed arms. “Tell me, Olivia. Tell me that’s what you want.”
I opened my mouth, but words failed me. I loved his attention, and how it woke me up, how I camealivein his presence. But giving in to those passions might just as easily turn against me. Loving someone like David could be the most wonderful experience—and the most painful. Already, his pleas to stay tore me open in ways I’d worked hard to avoid.
He pressed his fingers into my biceps, and my body nearly wilted under his command. “Look me in the eye and tell me you can forget,” he said. “If you can, then I promise—we’re through.”
My knees and my resolve began to buckle. I reached deep inside for a modicum of strength. Any woman would be lucky to have this man standing in front of her, asking her to stay. Any woman would be horrified to know that I was tempted to give up my life for a man I’d just met, who could take me to new highs but even lower lows.
I squared my shoulders. “I-I . . .”
“I can’t hear you,” he said, stepping into me so I was pressed up against the doorjamb.
“I—you’re hurting me.”
His grip loosened, though I hadn’t meant physically. “Then say it, Olivia,” he ordered. “Say it.”
“Yes,” I yelled, suddenly desperate to hurt him back. “This is what I want! To forget you. To forget this mistake. I don’t want you. It’sover.”
His brows furrowed, and his face fell as if I’d struck him.
I ducked away and rushed to grab my things from the floor. I ran out of his bedroom to the foyer, hit theDownbutton, dropped the sheet, and dressed speedily as the elevator ascended.
Thankfully, he didn’t come after me this time. I didn’t think I could ever look into those chestnut browns again without remembering the agony and betrayal I’d just seen.
Once inside the elevator, I bit my lip to hold back the tears. I tried, in desperation, to shove David’s expression out of my mind.
He’d forget me, though. It would be easy to toss out my memory like he’d surely done with many women. While I fearedmyheart would never forget one detail about him.
The elevator doors parted to a regal, eerily quiet hotel lobby. The click of my heels echoed as I raced through, fixing my gaze on the revolving door ahead as if that would get me there faster. When I pushed through to the other side, I shielded my eyes from the glaring, unrelenting sun.
I stumbled down the block. David had thought I’d choose him. I’d betrayed and hurt both men, breaking promises to each of them. I’d spiraled. I’d snapped. I’d been reckless for the first time since I’d seen the damage irrational love could do.
