“Because I immediately realized I’d have to give this fucking speech—excuse my language—and anyone who knows me will tell you I absolutelyhategiving speeches, almost as much as I hate hip-hop and One Direction and talking about my fucking feelings—excuse my language again.”
Oh my God, I’m dying. So far, I’ve managed to avoid Ryan throughout the entire wedding reception, but I feel like the jig is gonna be up soon and he’s gonna force me to talk to him. And when he does, I still don’t know what the hell I want to say to him—or if I’ll be able to stomach whatever lies he tries to tell me in reply.
Jonas raises his glass. “To Josh and Kat. Hear, hear.”
“Hear, hear,” everyone says, including me.
I take a long sip of champagne and flag a roaming waiter for another flute.
“Kitty Kat,” Sarah begins her speech, smiling. “My best friend and now mysister—oh, I just gave myself goose bumps saying that.” She giggles and everyone joins her.
I feel like I’m gonna explode. All throughout dinner, I could feel Ryan looking at me, willing me to look at him, but I didn’t do it. Actually, I was supposed to sit with Ryan at his table tonight, along with Keane, Zander, Colby, Dax, Fish, and Colin—a table I would have given my left boob to sit at yesterday; but the minute I left Josh’s bungalow this morning, I headed straight to the wedding planner and immediately requested she re-assign me to Uncle William’s stodgy table.
But, obviously, I can’t avoid Ryan forever, especially now that dinner is finished and toasts are underway and dancing is about to begin.
Sarah raises her glass. “To Josh and Kat. May you always inspire everyone around you to scan for emergency exits and fire extinguishers. Hear, hear.”
“Hear, hear,” everyone in the room says, raising their glasses.
Josh kisses Sarah’s cheek and takes the microphone from her.
“Thank you, Sarah,” he says. “Thank you, Jonas. We love you guys so much. We Faradays are pretty effing cool, I gotta say.I want to thank you all for joining us, not just for today’s celebration, but for this whole past week in paradise. I know you all have busy lives so we thank you for taking so much time to celebrate and party with us this whole week. It’s been incredible, hasn’t it?”
Everyone claps and cheers.
Josh proceeds to make a long speech, which he’s been known to do a time or two. While he speaks, I can’t resist covertly peeking over at Ryan’s table, ever so briefly, just to see if...Crap. Ryan’s looking right at me.
I look away, my cheeks hot.
Shit. The minute this speech is over, he’s gonna corner me—I can feel it. I’d better get myself ready. When we talk, I just have to be calm and clear. I’ll tell him I don’t want to continue this—that it’s been fun and I’m grateful for the time we’ve spent together, but I have no interest in moving forward because, frankly, I just don’t feel like I can fully trust him. And I’ll just leave it at that. Why say more than that? If I tell him my suspicions, he’ll just deny any wrongdoingagain,the same way he always does, and I’m likely to believe his bullshitagain.Oh, God, I’m such an idiot.
“I’d like to say a special thanks to my great friend Reed for that incredible surprise earlier,” Josh continues. “Wasn’t that amazing?”
Everyone claps and cheers wildly, including me.
“Amazing” is the right word for Reed’s surprise, I gotta say. Thanks to Reed’s connections, Josh and Kat danced their first dance to their favorite song, performed live by the original artist himself—James Bay—after he surprised and thrilled everyone by gliding into the reception with an acoustic guitar strapped to his chest.
Josh raises his champagne flute to Reed. “Thank you, bro. We’ll never forget that moment as long as we live.”
Josh pulls Kat out of her chair and slides his arm around her. “And one last thing,” he says into the microphone. “With my beautiful wife by my side, I wanna say a few words of thanks to my new family, the Morgans. There’s been a lot of talk about Kat becoming a Faraday today, but, trust me, I got the better end of the bargain. You know that expression ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’? Well, that’s especially true when it comes to Kat.” He raises his glass to Kat’s family at their various tables in the large room, and they all return the gesture—and, just for a second, my heart physically pangs with unfathomable envy and yearning.I want to be part of the Morgan family, like Josh.
“To Tom Tom Club, Momma Lou, Cheese, Captain, Peen, and Baby Brother,” Josh continues, his champagne flute in the air. “And to all the Morgans I’ve met this past week, too—” He raises his glass to the various pockets of Morgans seated around the large room. “Thank you for your part in making Kat the incredible woman she is today and for letting me be part of your hilarious and fucking awesome family. Hear, hear.”
“Hear, hear,” everyone in the room says in unison.
My eyes are filling with tears. I quickly wipe them and down my champagne.
Josh whispers something to Kat and she shakes her head.
“So, okay,” Josh says into his microphone. “Mrs. Faraday says enough talking about our fucking feelings—it’s time todance.”
62
Ryan
As Josh gives his toast to the rapt audience, I look longingly at Tessa across the reception room, the same way I’ve done countless times tonight, but, still, she won’t look at me.
Clearly, she’s been avoiding me today and I can’t figure out why. I mean, okay, I fully understood when she said she needed to help the wedding planner with a bunch of pre-wedding preparations today and therefore couldn’t hang out at the beach with my family and me. Cool. No problem. And, during the ceremony, when she didn’t sit next to me, but instead sat on the other end of the seating at the end of a row, I figured she wanted to be able to pop up, just in case the wedding planner unexpectedly needed her. And when she steadfastly stared at Josh and Kat during the entire ceremony without even a cursory glance in my direction, I told myself I was being paranoid.
