“Cool? I just said it’s torture.”
“We should all be so lucky to be tortured like that.”
“But I met her once in a fucking bar. This reaction is beyond over-the-top. It’s crazy.”
“I think it’s cool. When in doubt, always listen to your prick—it’s all-knowing.”
“Um, pretty sure that’s the exactoppositeadvice my father gave me as a teenager.”
Henn laughs.
“Seriously, man, I think I’ve lost my mind,” I say. “I’ve been going full-on Captain Ahab over this woman for six fucking weeks—a woman I’ve never even kissed. It makes no sense, but I can’t stop thinking about her.Yearningfor her.”
“Well, duh. She left her glass slipper behind on the palace steps and you found it. Who could resist that? Those fairytales are classics for a reason, man—they tap into our collective id.”
“Henn Star, you’re a man after my own heart.”
“Thanks, Captain Ahab,” Henn says warmly. “Look, all I’m saying is, if you’re the lucky guy who found Cinderella’s glass slipper on the palace steps, then, by God, it’s your duty to turn the kingdom upside-down looking for her.”
Whoa. This nerd’s given me more clarity in one phone call than I’ve had for the past six fucking weeks. “You’re a genius, Henn,” I say. “Thanks.”
“Hey, it’s not brain surgery: the heart wants what the heart wants. Or, I guess, the pecker. Some things are immutably decreed.”
“‘Immutably decreed’?”
“Indubitably.”
I laugh.
“Anything like this ever happen to you before?” Henn asks.
“Fuck no. I swear to God I’m normally the sanest Morgan brother of them all. Well, actually, the second sanest—it’s awfully hard to out-sane Colby Morgan.” I sigh. “You still think you’re gonna find her?”
“Dude, I’ll find her. There are only so many airlines and so many Samanthas. Just tell your pecker to do a crossword puzzle or something and wait it out. I got this. I promise I’ll get cracking on the Search for Samantha in the next week or two—three at the outside. Regardless, I’ll get back to you before we leave for Josh and Kat’s wedding in a month. I certainly wouldn’t want your pecker feeling peaked in paradise.”
“Thanks, Henn. I appreciate it. God help me if I’m still obsessing about this shit in Hawaii.”
“Looks like it’s gonna be an amazing week,” Henn says. “But that’s Josh Faraday for you—he doesn’t do parties half-assed.”
“My sister told me Josh’s assistant—what’s her name again?”
“T-Rod.”
“That’s right. My sister told me Josh put T-Rod in charge of planning the week and she’s lined up a whole bunch of stuff for us, like luaus and helicopter rides and—”
Henn cuts me off. “Hey, Ryan? Sorry to cut you off, but didn’t you say you left some poor woman with perfect breasts sitting at a table when you called me?”
Every hair on my body stands on end, all at once. “Oh, shit,” I blurt. “God, I’m such an asshole. Talk to you later, man. Thanks again.”
Henn laughs. “Any time, Captain Ahab. Oh, and, dude? Let the poor girl down easy. I don’t think you realize just how studly you are. You’re kind of the shit, man, hate to break it to you. Try to be kind about letting her down.”
“Will do. Thanks.”
I hang up and stride back to Kayla-Kylie-Katrina at our table.
When I approach, she looks up from her phone and smiles. “Everything okay?”
“No, actually.” I signal to the waitress for the check. “I’m sorry, Kendra, but—”
