“No. It’s fine. It’s been a long time, so it shouldn’t be this difficult to talk about.” I cleared my throat and took another gulp of my martini. “We’d always just been the best of friends. I mean, Axel has always been my person, long before anything ever happened between us.”
“Is that why you guys didn’t speak for so long? Did something happen?”
“I’d come home after being away for a few months, competing. We’d always spoken every single day, without fail. And we were so happy to be together again. We spent the day talking and laughing out on our horses.”
“Damn. This is already giving off hot cowboy vibes,” Lulu said before encouraging me to continue.
I blew out a breath. “One thing led to another, and we both opened up that we had real feelings for one another. Beyond friendship.”
“Swoon,” Eloise said, fanning her face, as all the girls waited for me to continue.
“So, we spent the night together, and it was sexy as hell. And then we stayed up all night talking. We decided that we’d do whatever we needed to do to make it work. I had a two-year plan to train for Worlds, and he said he’d travel to see me as much as possible, and I agreed to come home in between competitions.”
“Wow. You guys were all in,” Henley said.
“I think when you’ve been as close as the two of you were for so long, you can’t really have a casual relationship,” Emilia said. “So you don’t bother crossing the line unless you’re all in, right?”
“Correct. I’d felt it for a while, but I was terrified of ruining what we had. Because Axel had been the closest person to me for my whole life. Hell, he still was, even when we weren’t speaking. I still felt that connection, you know?” I shook my head, trying to swallow over the large lump in my throat.
“Of course you were worried about messing up something that was so special.” Emilia squeezed my hand, and Henley rubbed her hand up and down my back, as if they knew something heavy was coming.
“So, the next morning was the day we found out about Collin cheating on Emerson with Farah, her maid of honor.” I winced as the words left my mouth, because saying them aloud was still horrifying.
“Oh boy, do I remember that. It was all everyone in town was talking about,” Emilia said. “And that damn ‘Taylor Tea’ was all over it.”
“Yeah. And I love Emerson like a sister. I was just as angry as everyone else was.” I sighed. “But then Axel asked me if I knew about him cheating on her, and I was so angry that he’d even ask me that, you know? So I stormed out of there and refused to justify the question with an answer.”
“I get it. I’m a hothead, too,” Lulu said with a shrug.
“And that’s what caused this whole fight between you two?” Eloise asked.
“No. I mean, that’s what he thought had possibly caused it. Or he thought I’d freaked out that we’d crossed the line. In his defense, he didn’t know what to think, because I shut him out, big time.”
I proceeded to tell them all the gory details about what my brother had told me. How I’d thought he’d betrayed me by sharing a secret that I’d confided in him. How Collin had told me he’d gone home with another woman the night after sleepingwith me. And how he’d claimed that Axel had sucker punched him, even though he’d had it coming.
“Wow. Your brother does not play around. He went for the kill.” Lulu took the last sip of her pretty pink cocktail and set the glass down on the coffee table. “He preyed on your insecurities. I mean, once a woman thinks a man has betrayed her, she’s going to protect herself.”
“And you thought he’d betrayed your trust and betrayed the promise you’d made to one another the night before,” Henley said. “I’m sure emotions were running high, so it was probably very easy to believe it.”
“He’s your brother,” Emilia said, her gaze wet with emotion and filled with empathy. “Family is supposed to have your back, Wren, although I’ve learned that’s not always the case. But I get why you believed him. Why wouldn’t you?”
“I should have gone to Axel. I shouldn’t have been so quick to believe Collin. But I didn’t know my brother was capable of that kind of evil. I mean, I guess the fact that he cheated on his fiancée with her maid of honor should have been a sign. But I was shocked by that. And he cried to me that day and told me it had only happened once, which I later found out was another lie. He was distraught, and I just thought he’d made a terrible mistake. But intentionally lying just to come between me and Axel? I just wouldn’t have thought he’d be capable of something like that.” I blew out a labored breath. “Looking back now, I should have questioned things. I should have gone to Axel. There’s so much I would do differently now.”
“Hindsight is such a bitch,” Lulu said as she tossed her hands in the air. “But in your defense, you hadn’t told anyone else the secret about your father’s affair, so of course you believed it.”
“And I started second-guessing myself. He hadn’t been in a serious relationship in many years, which he’d told me that night was because he’d been in love with me. But a part of me, thatinsecure part that I hate to even admit lives inside me—well, that part of me found it easy to believe that he’d taken another woman home. I feared that maybe he regretted what we’d done. It was stupid. We were so close. I should have talked to him.” I sniffed a few times as the regret seeped from every inch of my body. “I thought I was the one who’d been betrayed this whole time, and it turns out, I actually betrayed Axel. And that’s a really hard pill to swallow.”
“Listen.” Eloise turned and looked at me, taking my hand in hers. “Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. You went with the knowledge that you were given. I don’t have any siblings, but from seeing how the Chadwicks all are with one another, I can see how easy it would be to trust a sibling. They trust one another immensely. So I understand why you did what you did. You were protecting your heart. I’ve done that before, too.”
“Thank you for saying that.” I forced a smile. “But he was angry and hurt when we finally hashed it out. I know Axel doesn’t understand how I’d believe those things about him. And I can tell he’s being cautious around me now. How can I blame him?”
“It seems like you’re getting your friendship back on track. So start with that and then see if those old feelings are still there,” Henley said, leaning her head against my shoulder. “I hate that you went through all of this alone.”
“Wait. I’ve got some questions,” Lulu said, holding her hands up when the girls started to interrupt her. “Hear me out.”
“Oh boy,” Henley groaned.
“First and foremost, was the sex even good that night? Because that matters. It matters a lot.” She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for me to answer.
