She smiles gently and cups my cheek. “It’s not what I want, but I don’t think we have any other choice.”
I close my eyes because looking into her face is causing me actual pain. She’s so beautiful, and I’m angry at myself for allowing this to happen. As wonderful as it has been, I’ve well and truly set myself up for pain, just like I did with Petra. Only this will be worse, because I know Bonnie is a good person. She’s nothing like Petra, and in another life where I’m not on the cusp of becoming Donna Malgeri, I would have held on to Bonnie and never let her go, because she is the real deal.
We dress and Bonnie leaves with a sweet kiss on the cheek. I’m sure, like me, she will take a bit of time to fully digest what happened between us. But I’ll have to do my processing later. I’ve got work to do.
“So, you fucked her then,” Rosa says from my office door. I clench my jaw and pretend her casual use of the word “fuck” is anything but an insult to what Bonnie and I did last night.
“Careful, Rosa,” I caution.
I don’t have to see the eyeroll to know she’s doing it. Pushing off the frame, Rosa settles in the chair opposite me. “No need to get sensitive. I’m just a bit surprised.”
“As was I.”
“Good, though?”
“Fantastic,” I murmur.
“And this morning?”
I shrug. “It didn’t end in tears, if that’s what you mean.”
“Okay. Good talk. Now, on to business. Giani is way too quiet. His absence isn’t sitting right with me, Allegra.”
Putting my pen down, I lean back and look up, closing my eyes. Just one day of peace is all I ask.
“I agree, but until he does something, my hands are tied. The other families are aware of the situation. I can’t undermine the pact, otherwise Giani wins. I need him to fuck up first.”
Rosa rubs her chin. “Shall I double the surveillance, then?”
“Yes. I want to know where he is at all times.”
“Done. Are you personally receiving this week’s shipment?”
Nodding, I stretch my neck. “Yes, I’ll head to the docks tomorrow night. Changing up the schedule was a good idea. It stops the Arellos from fucking with any more of our cargo. I don’t know if I can talk Lorenzo down if it happens again.”
Rosa bites her lip. “Are you going to tell him you want out?” she says. I freeze at the prospect.
Is that what I want? To be fully out and free of the mob? The thought would have been unthinkable a few months ago. So much has changed.
“Meaning?” I ask.
She shrugs. “I’m not stupid, Allegra. For all your blustering about becoming Donna Malgeri, you’re miserable. And don’t think I haven’t noticed the decrease in shipments recently. You’re slowly pulling the family away from that side of things. You have been since taking the lead.”
I smile at her because Rosa always impresses me. She’s smart and on the ball. Putting aside her mistake the other night, Rosa is the ultimate professional and is keen to learn.
“Is that a problem for you?” There are people in this life who love it. I’m talking about the criminal aspect; they love the rush and some enjoy the cruelty. Giani Arello is a prime example.
“No, why would it be? As long as we’re making money, I don’t give a shit either way. I’m just worried.”
“About?”
“Lorenzo. As much as he’s tried to steer the family in the right direction, he’s still his father’s son. The Ferrante family is at the top of the food chain, and I’m worried he won’t be as happy to leave that part of things behind. It’s in his blood, Allegra.”
“It’s in mine too. Trust me, I understand. The money we make through that line of revenue is staggering. It’s easy money and it keeps us in power. But is that a good reason to risk our freedom? I’m not being dramatic when I say our lives are in constant danger. We’re not untouchable, as much as the other families like to believe. The Ferrante family has more money than God! We don’t need any more. But we do need to be smart and make sure we’re still around to spend our billions. Every time we secure a shipment, I’m aware it could be our last. For all I know, the feds will be waiting for me tomorrow and I’m tired of living like that when it isn’t necessary.”
“Hey, I get it. I think the rest of the family will too, as long as they get to keep their lifestyles. But Lorenzo?”
“He will see sense. He has to. Maybe Bonnie’s appearance is the key.”
