Yeah, that’s true and I know I’ll need more time to really dial into my feelings about it all.
“I won’t lie and say it’s instantly okay. There’s too much going on for me to know how I will eventually feel about everything that’s happened. But I know I won’t regret this, Allegra. Will you?” This works both ways, after all.
She shakes her head. “No regrets. I’m surprised it happened at all, but I wanted you. I want you.”
“Then let’s stop talking.”
22
Allegra
Wefoundeachotheragain after falling asleep. It was slow, and lazy, and perfect. I honestly thought Bonnie would wake up and freak out, but she didn’t. She rolled over, and the dance began again.
Once we’d finished, we didn’t go back to sleep. Instead, we spent a few hours talking about everything and nothing. It was refreshing to have a normal conversation that wasn’t laced with familial worries or complicated business deals. No matter how hard I try to distance the family from the underworld around us, there is always something lingering in the background, ready to pull me back in.
But last night and the early hours of this morning were different. I didn’t have the prickle at the back of my neck as we talked about favourite movies or Bonnie’s wool obsession. I had to know where it came from. She took my jibes as they were intended: light-heartedly. I managed to get her to admit she enjoys fine Italian clothing better than a cardigan, so I call that a win.
I found out her favourite colour—orange—which surprised me due to her love of beige wool. Her favourite food? Cheese and onion sausage rolls, and her favourite animal is the Giant Panda. Solid choice; the creatures are cute. Most importantly, I now know her favourite books, which then led me to downloadMob’s Seduction. We read some parts together until we reached the spot Bonnie had reached the day I took her. She refused to read any more and banned me also, which I found funny. She lasted ten minutes until her curiosity got the best of her and we continued the story.
The conversation then took a more serious turn. Bonnie wanted to know more about the other Mafiosi families and our pact. I shouldn’t have told her anything, but if anyone deserves some clarity, it’s her. She asked about the Arellos and if I really thought she was in as much danger as we originally believed. I understood her confusion, considering Giani hasn’t made a move at all. He’s quiet—too quiet—and I know that means he’s scheming, but I didn’t want to freak Bonnie out, so I told her we just needed to be cautious a little while longer until I was sure she could go home.
We both grew quiet when I said “home” because it burst our bubble. As wonderful as our time together has been, it will end. She will go home and resume her life, as I will. Instead of ending things on a down note, I rolled her over and peppered her with kisses. We fell asleep an hour later, after a few more rounds.
The sun kissing the top of my head woke me. I often sleep with the drapes open because I love the smell of the ocean and the breeze, which smells of vines and sea salt. Now I wish I’d shut them so the light hadn’t woken me. Because as soon as Bonnie wakes up, it’s over.
Maybe one night was all we were ever meant to be. Let’s be realistic; we’re completely incompatible. Our lives are too different, Bonnie is too innocent, and I hate that she’s been dragged into this life through no fault of her own.
She stirs beneath me. I’m wrapped around her with my face against her shoulder. I think it might be my new favourite place. I hardly recognise myself. Days ago, the feelings I had towards Bonnie bordered on contempt, but now I think I got it wrong. I think my heart knew she was dangerous for me and acted accordingly. The anger and frustration were a protective shroud my heart cast around me to prevent this.
One night with Bonnie Moorside and I’m wrecked.
“Mornin’,” she mumbles as she turns into me. Her head tucks under my chin as she wiggles her body, burrowing into me. I can’t help the smile that forms on my face.
“Good morning,” I reply, kissing the top of her head.
“I love your accent,” she says sleepily.
“I know. You told me several times last night,” I chuckle.
“Well, it’s sexy.”
“Mmm.” I don’t want this to end, but a look at my clock tells me it’s going to, and fast. I have a lot on my plate and can’t shirk off. Bonnie told me she plans to talk to Lorenzo today, and I don’t want her to back out of that because she’s with me. It’s important they get the chance to connect, or at least get some closure.
“Would you like some breakfast?”
“I don’t want to move,” she mumbles.
“You don’t have to,” I laugh. Reaching over, I take the phone and dial 1. It’s a direct line to the kitchen. With breakfast ordered, I snuggle back down and hold Bonnie for a little while longer. Only when I hear the knock on my bedroom door do I pull myself out of her embrace.
We sit and eat, sipping coffee that makes Bonnie wince. She’s never had a proper espresso before, which is a tragedy. I have to explain why Starbucks and Costa Coffee are not the bar to which one compares a good cup of coffee.
“I have to go to the office,” I say once the food is finished and coffee is drunk. I can’t put it off any longer. She nods, but doesn’t look at me. “Bonnie?”
Sucking in a breath, she lifts her eyes. “Is this it?”
What can I say? I don’t want it to be a one-night stand, but in what universe could we ever be more? There is already a ticking clock counting down to the day she leaves Italy.
“I think it has to be,” I say softly. “I think a friendship with you is all I can ask. If you want that, too.”
