Bear’s gaze caught hers, deep and steady. “Ayla and Taryn ended up in the same hellhole,” he murmured. “But sense? About us? Maybe it isn’t supposed to make any. Feels like something older than coincidence. Like the ancestors brought us together so we could bring them home.”
He stepped closer, his voice ragged from everything they’d endured. “Tell me that kiss wasn’t goodbye.” The tremor in his voice echoed that moment in the jungle when he broke as Ayla called his name, shook her to her core. Bailee had known who Ayla was the second she saw her, and the joy of it had been braided tightly with grief.
Her tears had been nothing but a collision of love and sorrow, pain as deep as the joy was high, a wild storm of feeling tearing through her.
“I don’t know,” she whispered.
He groaned softly, the sound pure ache. “Bailee, please?—”
She covered his mouth. “No, listen to me. You need to think about your sister now, your family. You need to take her home, my love.”
“Not without you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body to his. He clutched her tightly. “I can’t.” The words came out like a wail. “I failed again, Bear, and although I’m so happy about your sister, I’ve got to deal with my cousin’s loss. You understand…” She raised her head, met those warm, beautiful eyes. “Don’t you?”
His face contorted and he exhaled heavily. “I do. Goddammit.” His big hand went through her hair, sifting the strands gently between his fingers. “I don’t want to leave you alone to deal with this. I want to be there for you.”
She nodded, her eyes filling, her heart already full of him. “I know,” she whispered fiercely. “But this is something I have to do alone, and you will be with me. Here.” She covered her heart as the water shut off.
“I’m going to leave these rooms for you and your sister.”
“Where are you going to stay?”
“I have so much to handle right now with the excavation, the aftermath of everything. I’ll be working.” She released a hard breath. “You, Ayla, and the team are lifting off in a few hours. You need to get back to the states, repatriate her, and do everything necessary for her to resume her life.”
“What about us. I’m not willing to sacrifice?—”
Again, she covered his mouth. “This isn’t about us. This is about me. I can’t move forward with a relationship when you deserve a woman who is as grounded and connected as you’re to your tribe, the Great Spirit, and your family.”
He went to speak and she shook her head.
He grasped her shoulders. “I will speak, Bailee. I have found my voice and understand my needs matter, and you belong in my life. You might not be running from your shame anymore, but you’re still running from me.”
“Maybe that’s true, but you upended my life, and what I thought I knew is all jumbled up. I thought when I was younger that I was destined to become a medicine woman, healer of my people, but I never heard the call. I was never chosen.”
“Who the fuck says you weren’t chosen? Maybe your path is different from what you thought, and it’s getting clearer by the day. The ancestors know what they’re doing.”
“That’s easy for you to say. Your faith is unshakable, but mine was demolished, and I still carry that failure in my bones.
“Unshakable? That’s not entirely true. I have questioned my faith many times, Bailee. Called out to the Great Spirit when my sister was taken from us. I was angry and bitter at one time, and even now… after Than’s brush with assault, I find that I can’t speak right, not to him. I tried to remain calm, but all that anger and bitterness rose up, and all I wanted to do was protect my brother. I know I can’t. He’s in the world now. He’s going to Annapolis and it’s his decision. The thought of losing him is unbearable. Tell me that’s not a loss of faith.”
“But things have changed. You have her back, and the blessing of the ancestors.”
“They haven’t turned away from you. I saw you and I heard you during Chay’s song, Bailee. You connected like I did. Two people, one with faith, one who’s desperately seeking answers. I’m not saying I have them. I’m not saying I’m right, but it seems to me that everyone is called. Maybe they don’t hear it at first. Who knows? Maybe the ancestors knew you’d be a voice in the disappearance of our women and girls and turned away from you, so your choice would be the right one. Maybe this is your calling. Exactly what you’re doing. Your voice matters in MMIWG. I see now that voice is everyone’s right, and in this I won’t be silent.”
She froze, his words penetrating layers and layers of pain and uncertainty.
“That your perspective is facing the wrong direction.”
She grasped her hands in the fabric of his shirt. “There are times when I think they sent you to me. I hear you. I do, but I’ve got years of emotions, pain, and disappointment to wade through.” She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest, and the hope surged in his eyes. “Once again, I need you, but this time. I need you to allow me to take this path alone, and find my answers in not only your truth, but in my own.”
“Dakota?” Ayla’s voice was stronger than she expected it to be, and she knew this girl was going to light the world on fire, and Bailee could only be thankful that she had a hand in bringing her home.
“I’ll be right there, little one.”
He looked down at Bailee, took her mouth in a kiss that went through her like a wildfire promise. When he broke it, his hand fisting gently in her hair, he said, “I’ll give you time to walk your path, but if you don’t come to me when it’s over, I will find you because, Bailee, I need you, too.” With that, he turned and slipped back through the connecting door.
Bailee had already collected all her things, so she took her case down to the front desk. “Please hold this for me,” she said softly, then she hailed a cab and went back to the DEA building. When she entered, Joker was in the briefing room. He looked tired, his face pinched with something much more weighty than command.
