“Mommy!”
I held him close, shocked how easily this little boy had taken ownership of such a large piece of my heart. How was itpossible to love someone so fiercely after just a few weeks? I didn’t know the mechanics, but I knew that was how I felt. “Yep, Mommy.” Since Viv spent most of her time in the room, I started there but the moment I opened the door, I knew something was different.
Her clothes and her bags were still inside the room. Her toiletries still dotted the sink and the bathtub. Her toothbrush still sat in the plastic holder on the sink, but the air inside the room was stale as if it had been abandoned. “Viv,” I called out, but there was no answer. “Where is she?”
“Mommy,” TJ called out but she still didn’t answer and she wouldn’t.
Her things were here but she was gone. I hadn’t checked the whole damn place, but I knew she’d left me.
Again.
My heart sank when I spotted the piece of paper on the middle of the bed, the bright yellow sheet sat there, ominous and mocking. “Shit,” I whispered as I reached for the note.
Falcon,
I don’t know where you are or what’s happening, but I hope you return safely. That’s all that matters to me right now. I know you’re going to hate me for leaving again and I want, no, I need you to know that I love you. I thought I loved you three years ago when we were together but now that you’ve let me see all the sides of you, the vulnerable, the goofy, the sexy, the father, the killer, the brother, I love you even more and with my whole heart.
You and your brothers, your MC, have given me and TJ more than we deserve. You’ve kept us safe even when it put youin danger, and it is a debt I will never be able to repay. You, Falcon, you have shown me what it means to be loved and seen and cared for. And that’s exactly why I can’t stay.
Your people don’t trust me. They don’t like me, and they don’t want me around. Honestly, I get it, I put them and those they love in danger. I was fooling myself to think I could have it all, my career, you and TJ, a real family. After everything you’ve done for me, I can’t bring more drama into your lives.
Please make sure TJ knows just how much I love him. Maybe one day he’ll forgive me.
You once told me you weren’t sure who you’d become if something happened to me. I didn’t get it at first, but I do now because I’m not sure who I’d become if I stayed.
I love you, Falcon. With my whole heart.
Truly.
Deeply.
Eternally.
The paper shook in my hand, and for a long moment I just stood there staring at the words until they blurred into one inky mass. My chest was so tight I could hardly fucking breathe, my mouth too full of all the words I never got a chance to say to her.
“Fuck!” The word tore out of me, raw and loud.
TJ jumped. “Dada?”
“I’m okay, buddy.”
He wrapped his little arms around me and squeezed.
I hugged him back as if I could pull strength from his small body. I couldn’t do that, but I could do something better.Bring her back.
Somewhere Viv was out there scared and hurt, thinking she was doing the right thing. Thinking that she was protecting us, keeping us safe by running.
She was wrong and as soon as I found her, I would let her know just how wrong she was because I meant it when I told her if she ran, I would chase her.
Find her.
Bring her back to me.
To us.
“Come on, TJ. Let’s go find Mommy.”
“Mommy?”
