Dr. Trevor patted my other arm. “Too much, Eric. Too soon. For now, you’re in a clinic in Louisiana. It’s a private clinic. You don’t have to be concerned about saying anything or everything here. Every person you see here knows what you know. Okay?”
His words sunk in. “About… about…”
I looked at Eric, and he nodded. “About the Life.”
Kirk rose. “You’ll be seeing me around a lot. We’ll get you up and moving as soon as I’m sure you won’t fall over, and then we’ll go from there. One boy at a time as long as they understand that if she’s sleeping, she stays that way. Even if it’s mid-conversation. I hear any of them are keeping her up and they’re all out.”
“Got it.” Eric nodded.
I was glad he did because I didn’t know what was going on. “Your sons?”
“Yes, them. Are you hungry?”
Was I? It was Kirk who answered. He was older than Eric. Those details were starting to filter in. Slowly. I still wasn’t sure I could pick him out in a crowd. He answered Eric. “Doubtful.”
My eyes closed.
The next time I woke up it was dark in the room, and I wasn’t alone. In a chair next to my bed, staring at something he was watching on his phone, was Julian Lent. I stared at him. He was skinnier than I remembered and there were dark circles under his eyes. But there they were, the blue eyes I remembered. He had been the first Lent I’d met. He liked books best in the world and had written a play.
How was he here? Oh, that was right. I wasn’t… wherever I had been. My mouth was dry.
“Can I have some water?”
He jumped, his phone going flying, but he didn’t move except to stare at me, blinking rapidly before he lunged to his feet and was filling a cup with water from a pitcher nearby.
“Here.” He tried to hand it to me, and I legitimately tried to take it, but my hand shook. Badly. Oh this. Yes, I knew this feeling. This was because it had been the bad drug. The one that hurt.
Julian frowned and then grabbed a straw and placed it in my mouth. “Sorry. I’ll hold it.”
I was grateful, but I wasn’t going to say anything else until I got the cool water down my throat. Finally, I could speak. “Thank you.”
“Yes, of course, Baby. Of course.” He took my shaking hand in his. “How are you?” A nurse—different from the first one—poked her head in, and he looked over his shoulder. “She woke up. I didn’t wake her.” The woman nodded and left. He turned back to me. “They’ll throw me out if I wake you. I won’t. Okay? I just want to take care of you. That’s all I want.”
I was actually able to sit up a little, but it wasn’t as easy as it should have been. He helped me, repositioning my pillow. “I’m pretty confused.”
“What do you remember?” He let go of my hand to smooth a hand over my head. It was then that I realized my hair had been shaved.
“They must have done that again when I was out of it.”
“What?” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t follow that.”
I sighed. “They shaved my head. It was head shaving day, but I got in trouble and then they injected me, and I don’t remember them shaving my head, but they must have.”
I hoped that made sense because I was in no condition to explain it again.
He kissed my hand, bringing it to his mouth. “Maybe later you can tell me more. I’m so sorry that happened. Yes, your hair is pretty much gone right now. But it doesn’t matter. Okay? It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.”
“Oh.” I nodded. “I don’t care. Not really.” I didn’t really care about anything.
He tried to hold my gaze, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I stared at the wall instead. There was a picture of… Paris on it. I knew the Eiffel Tower even though I’d never seen it in person. Paris in sunshine.
“Thank you for commenting on that post. That was what we hoped. That you would see it. That you couldn’t reach us, but you could see it there and we would see it. That was just what we hoped, no matter how improbable it seemed.”
Post? “Oh, thePoor Relationthing.”
“Right.” He nodded, still holding my shaking hand. “We don’t have to talk about it right now. You can just rest. We can sit here. I can put something on the television. Or my phone.” It was still on the floor. “We can listen to music. Or just be silent. Whatever you want. That’s what’s going to happen. From here on in and forever.”
Forever? What was that? “Where are the other girls? What happened to them?”
