I took a deep breath. “So like dealing with the way that they took me?”
“Sure. That will come into play, but I think, don’t you, that isn’t the start of your trauma? Where do you think it started?”
I just wasn’t sure. “There have been a lot of things I guess we could call trauma. I mean my teacher was awful to me. A girl drugged me.”
He looked at me with kind eyes. “Further back. What started all of this?”
What started it? My hands started to shake. It was getting harder and harder not to do the knee thing. “Um, my mother died. I was eleven. My mother died. My dad died too, but I can’t really remember. I’m blocked or something.”
“That’s right. We’ll start with what you do know. Your mother died. And I think maybe it’s time for your brain to come to terms with that.”
I looked down. “I knew I was going to hate this.”
“For a while, probably.”
No one was waitingto pick me up when I came out. That was so strange. I looked at my phone and there weren’t any messages. I quickly texted the group but didn’t hear anything. Okay. Well… as I looked around the parking lot I realized I didn’t have a lot of choices. I was going to have to walk.
It was several miles, but I’d walked longer. At least it was pretty. About a minute into my trek I really wished I had my hat. But I put my head down, grateful I had the coat Julian had gotten me. Even though it wasn’t icy, the ground felt cold even through my sneakers. I should probably get some boots.
Cars passed me but none of them were Barrett in his Jeep. What bothered me more than walking—it was a good idea to get some exercise particularly after feeling like I had been trapped in the room with Dr. Trevor—was that something was wrong. No one answering their phone?
Was it Dina? It had to be Dina.
A van pulled up next to me. It was white. I gasped. What was happening? I had a very bad feeling about this. I didn’t have a great history with vans. The door slid open from the inside and two hooded people rushed toward me.
Oh fuck. I was right. This was a kidnapping. Or something else bad. They rushed toward me, and I tried to run, but one of them got a hold of my arm. Okay. No, I dragged my feet. I’d never learned to fight. That was obviously a big fucking problem. I lifted my leg and kicked whoever it was right in the shin. They fought back and a second person grabbed me. No, I wasn’t going easily. I wasn’t. If this was related to Phoenix, or fuck, my own family, I didn’t care. I wasn’t. No. No. No.
I fought as hard as I could until a second set of screeching tires arrived. I didn’t look up. If this was my doom, I was too busy trying to prevent it to look it in the eye.
“Hey,” came the shouts. It was Barrett. Jeremy. I couldn’t see. Someone grabbed me by the waist and my kicking wasn’t going to help.
There were shouts and yells. Bodies in the way of the people trying to take me. Finally I was loose and the van skidded away so fast the tires screamed on the pavement.
I would have hit the ground if Jeremy hadn’t caught me. “Princess. Oh my god. I’ve got you. Shit.”
Barrett touched my cheek. “You’re okay. I can’t believe…”
I didn’t hear what he said. I’d never been a fainter, and I had fought as hard as I could, but it was too much. I collapsed right there in Jeremy’s arms. The world just went black.
I walked with my mother. She held my hand and we stared at the lake. “I would have liked it here. I wish I knew places like this existed.”
This was a dream. She was long dead. Unless… I was dead? “Am I dead? I knew I would see you when I died.”
She met my gaze, her green eyes so similar to mine. I must have gotten them from her. I’d never thought about it. Tricia’s were the same. But they looked different.
“Do you think you’re dead?”
I thought about it. No, I really didn’t. “I’m dreaming.”
“Okay. Sounds good.” We walked again, but she stopped. “Alatheia, I ran from two of the most powerful families in Manhattan. I hid you from the world. I survived and didn’t touch millions of dollars to keep you safe. I adapted and tried and tried and tried. Do you think I did all of that to overdose on drugs? Does that sound right to you?”
It really didn’t. The wind picked up, blowing my hair off my face. “Is this happening because Dr. Trevor told me I haven’t processed your death?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
I sat up, gasping for breath. “Hey, easy. Easy.” It was Jeremy. I was still in his arms on the street.
Okay. I’d fainted. But not for very long. Barrett knelt down in front of me. He was pale and his gaze was strained, angry. At me?
