Suddenly, something buzzes against my chest, making me jump.
Then I remember, I shoved my phone in my bra for ‘safe keeping.’ I pull it out and smile when I see the name on the screen.
Colt.
As Sia spins in circles with a penis in hand, ready to violate Chris Hemsworth’s laminated abs, I tap the message open with a grin.
Colt:Hey, baby, I hope you’re having fun. Just wanted to let you know I miss you. xo
A grin spreads across my face, my heart fluttering at the fact he’s thinking of me, even in the middle of his own wild night. Quickly, I type out a reply.
Me:I’m having a great time. Just wish you were here. I miss you more. <3 xo
I hit send and tuck my phone back into my bra, as a wave of laughter erupts around me, so I glance up. Sia, who is still blindfolded, is pinning the penis squarely on Chris’s cheek. Everyone cracks up, and then loud music booms through the house, cutting through the laughter like a siren.
We all turn toward the doorway, where a policeman and a fireman now stand.
Oh. My. God.
Biting my bottom lip, I glance at Danny, who’s fanning himself like he’s on fire.
I giggle, immediately ducking behind Kira.
“There’s been a call about avery naughty girl,” the policeman announces, voice booming over the beat. “She’s been real hot, and we’re here to put out her fire and punish her for being so damn bad. Now… where’s Dee?”
Everyone bursts out laughing, eyes scanning the room like it’s a game of hide-and-seek.
Joseph stands with a devious grin. “There she is… behind Kira!”
“Traitor,” I cry as Kira turns around and grabs my arm, dragging me into the middle of the room.
My cheeks are on fire, and I can barely breathe through the laughter.
Anna cheers, Mum claps, and the entire room is egging it on like this is the main event, which it probably is when I think about it. I sit down once Anna shoves a chair behind me, my hands over my face as I giggle like a drunk schoolgirl.
I cannot believe I agreed to this.
The song shifts to a heavy beat, and the ‘cop’ pulls out a set of plastic handcuffs. He snaps them around my wrists and locks my hands behind my back.
“Oh my God, Anna,” I call out.
She screams in delight, along with every woman in the room. The two gay men are cheering louder than anyone else.
The sexy cop starts dancing in front of me, hips swaying as the fireman heads toward Sia, who’s already grinding along with him. I burst out laughing, too drunk and too entertained to stop it. Hat and sunglasses go flying as the cop straddles me, gyrating hard into my lap. I close my eyes and shake my head, equal parts horrified and amused.
What is my life?
Then he turns around, sticking his ass in my face, shaking it like it’s part of the show, which, clearly, it is. When he bends over and yanks his pants off in one clean motion, revealing a red G-string, I absolutely lose it.
I’m crying with laughter.
Literally hiccuping.
Sia’s tearing off the fireman’s pants.
People are cheering.
Phones are flashing.
