“He took my chance tomakea life, Colt.”
“Dee, you have options. I know it’s hard to see that right now. And believe me, if there were another way to save your life, I would’ve taken it. But this was the only way to saveyou. When you’ve had time to heal from the shock, I’ll talk with you both about it some more. But in the meantime, you need to rest, and I recommend counseling for both of you. Again, I’m incredibly sorry, and if I’d had another way we would have taken it. You would be dead right now—”
“You should have let me die,” I murmur.
Colt lets out a soft gasp, like the air’s been punched from his lungs, and his whole body flinches.
The moment the words leave my mouth, guilt crushes me.
I didn’t mean it.
Not really.
But in this moment, in this pain, it feels like death would have been easier than this all-consuming grief.
“You don’t mean that,” the doctor says gently, his voice low but steady. “In time, you will feel better. But there’s a natural grieving process ahead of you. Just remember… you still have three eggs. All is not lost, Dee.” He half-smiles before quietly slipping from the room, leaving Colt and me in the wreckage.
I turn to him, and the look on his face is a mirror of my own—shattered.
He’s trying so damn hard to be strong, to stay grounded for me. But I don’t deserve that. Not his comfort. Not his tenderness. Not when I’ve taken everything from him.
My bottom lip trembles as I gaze at the man I love, the man I’ve let down in the cruelest way possible.
“Oh God, Colt…”
“I know, baby, but I’m here for you.” He leans in, brushing his thumb across my cheek. “I love you, Dee. This doesn’t change a thing—”
“It fucking changeseverything. Don’t you dare tell me it doesn’t!” I snap, the tears making my voice raw and fractured.
Colt flinches, but he doesn’t back down. He shakes his head hard, determined. “That’s where you’re wrong, Dee. It doesn’t. I love you. We have three chances. A surrogate won’t be hard to find. And when the time is right, we’ll have a child that’s part of you and part of me. Don’t give up hope, not yet. It’ll be okay, I promise.”
I stare at him, anger and anguish churning inside me.
“Can’t you see?I’llnever get pregnant, Colt,” I say bitterly, each word like glass cutting my tongue.
He frowns, and I see the heartbreak in his eyes, but it only makes me spiral harder.
“I’llneverfeel our baby growing inside me,” I cry. “A part of you. A part of me. I’ll never get morning sickness, never waddle through a grocery store with swollen ankles, and that stupid glow everyone talks about. I’llneverfeel those first flutters. I’llneversee your face light up when you feel our baby kick for the first time.”
My voice breaks completely. “I-I can’t give you any of th-that, Colt. I’m defective. I’m broken. H-how can you still want me?”
He leans in, pressing his forehead to mine, breathing through the weight of everything I just unloaded on him. “I will always wantyou,” he says fiercely. Then he pulls back just enough to point to the tattoo inked across his forearm.C & D — Until the End of Time.
He waits until my eyes meet his. “You see this?” he asks, voice thick with emotion.
I nod through a quiet sniffle.
“I meant that, Dee.Every. Damn. Word. Nothing will stop me from spending my forever with you. I love you more than life itself. And yeah, this is crushing. It’s unfair. It’s devastating. But a life without you? That’s not a life I want. I’d give up everything if it meant keeping you.”
I start to cry again, but this time it’s different. Softer. Less wild.
“We weren’t planning a baby yet.” He continues, “But that day will come. We have three chances. And when the time’s right, we’ll take them. Together. But right now, we focus on you and on healing. One step at a time, baby.”
His voice is steady. Grounding.
And even though I’m broken, a piece of me wants to believe him.
My tears slow.
