Why not lose everything?
“What are you talking about?” Colt asks, his voice trembling.
“My leg isfucked!” I shout, tears flowing harder now. “That’s why you look so sad.It has to be. It has to be!” I’m desperate, clawing at logic that doesn’t exist, trying to twist the truth into something that hurts less.
Because itcan’tbe what they’re saying.
They’re wrong.
They have to be wrong.
Colt frowns and shakes his head, and it only makes me more frantic.
“No, listen to me! My stomach barely aches. It’s my leg that hurts, Colt. That’s the problem. So cut it off. I’ll live in a wheelchair, I don’t care. I can handle that. But not th-this…” My voice cracks. “Not being able to give you a baby. That’s impossible. So just… just take the damn leg and be done with it.”
Colt’s breath stutters. He looks to the doctor like he’s begging him to help fix what can’t be fixed.
“Dee…” Colt turns back to me, eyes glassy as the Doctor continues, “We didn’t get it wrong. Your leg is healing and will be fine. But wehadto perform a hysterectomy. You’ll never conceive or carry a child. I’m so sorry, but it was the only way to save your life.” The doctor’s words slice through me.
“No…” I shake my head violently. “No.No. I don’t want that. There has to be something else. Can’t you do a transplant or something?Anything?” Even as I say it, I know the answer. But I don’t care. I need to cling to hope. I needsomething.
“Dee, that’s not an option,” the doctor says gently. “I know this is incredibly hard, but there is some good news.”
Good news?
I blink at him, stunned.
My heart is breaking, and he’s talking aboutgood news?
“Good news?” I spit the words like poison. “I can’t ever give Colt a family. How the fuck is thatgood news?” I scream the last part, and Colt flinches, his head shaking, shoulders crumbling under the weight of my pain.
The doctor continues carefully, “We were able to retrieve and freeze three of your eggs. This means with a surrogate, there’s a chance you and Colt could still have a biological child. But you won’t be able to carry the pregnancy yourself.”
My chest caves.
My breath hitches.
I huff out a bitter, broken laugh. “What the hell is the point of being a woman if you can’t even carry your own child?”
Silence.
Colt reaches for me, but I pull back, every part of me unraveling.
“Dee,” the doctor says softly. “I know you’re angry. Anyone would be. But this doesn’t make you any less of a woman.With time and the right support, you’ll see that. You can still be a mother. You can still have children. You can still have a beautiful, full life. It’s just going to look a little different than what you imagined.”
Different.
Everything about me is different now.
Hollow.
Shattered.
Ruined.
“I don’t want to do it differently. Colt, call your lawyer. We’re going to sue. You took away my chance of being a mother, and I didn’t consent to it. Now everything is fucked, and it’s allyourfault,” I yell, pointing my finger at the doctor.
Colt takes my hands and exhales. “Baby, we’re not going to sue. You can’t. He saved your life,” Colt whispers.
