But how do I tell her that she’ll never carry our child?
This is so fucked up!
I lean against the doorframe, watching Dee and Anna chat animatedly about Anna’s upcoming baby. Their laughter fills the room as they joke about when Dee will have a child of her own. Dee’s eyes sparkle with joy, and my stomach twists into knots.
She seems so happy, so full of life. The thought of shattering that happiness with the truth weighs heavily on me. I can’t bear to be the one to dim that light in her eyes. Overwhelmed, I quietly step out of the room, resting my head against the cool wall just outside her door. I take a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions threatening to consume me.
Suddenly, Johnny’s head peeks out from the room, his eyes meeting mine with concern. “What are you doing out here?” he asks, but when he sees the state I’m in, he tries to comfort mewith reassurances that won’teverbe enough. “Hey, hey, c’mon mate, she’s gonna be fine. You see her in there. She’s doing great.” I drop my head, my eyes on the floor. “Colt, what aren’t you telling me?” Johnny questions.
I take his arm and lead him down the hall, well out of hearing range. “Dee’s stomach,” I murmur.
He looks at me, and his brows crease. “What about it?”
“They had to do a hysterectomy. Sh-she can’t have k-kids,” I somehow stutter out.
“Oh, fuck! Man, I’m sorry. She doesn’t know, does she?” he asks, and I shake my head. “Fuck! How are you holding up?”
I stare at him like he’s being ridiculous. “Obviously shit! How the fuck am I going to tell her? She’s made so much progress in the past two weeks. I know this will set her back,” I barely whisper.
“I don’t know, man. I don’t… fuck! It must be killing you to see Anna eight months pregnant. Hey, if you want us to stay away for a while, we can, mate. I completely get it—”
“No! No, you don’t need to be away from us. We love that you guys are having a boy. I guess it’s just gonna be hard for Dee when she finds out, but I know she won’t want Anna to stay away from her. She’s her best friend. Just like I don’t want you to stay away. I bloody need you here with me,” I admit, and he slaps me on the arm.
Johnny’s expression softens. “You can count on us. Whatever you need. Anything at all, just let me know,” he offers.
I nod, but a surge of anger wells up inside me. Without thinking, I turn and drive my fist into the wall, the plasterboard giving way under the force.
Johnny raises an eyebrow, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. “Feel better?” he asks, stepping closer.
I shake my hand, the sting grounding me. “Not really,” I admit.
He wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a brief, firm embrace. “We’re here for you. We’ll get through this together.”
A nurse approaches, concern etched on her face. Johnny meets her gaze, offering a reassuring nod. “Just a moment,” he says, guiding me away from the damaged wall.
I take a deep breath, the weight of the moment pressing down on me. “Thanks,” I mutter, the word barely audible.
Johnny squeezes my shoulder. “Anytime.”
“Sorry. I’ll pay for that,” I say to the nurse while she shakes her head at me.
“C’mon, let’s get back to our women,” Johnny says, leading me to Dee’s room.
“It’s just hard, you know?” I say as we get closer to the door.
“What’s hard?” Anna asks, and Dee looks up at me with nothing but love in her beautiful green eyes. I freeze on the spot and look at Johnny because my brain isn’t functioning to produce any reply at the moment.
“Oh, nothing. Colt was telling me how hard his bed is. Babe, I think we should go and let Dee get some rest, yeah?”
I look at him, and he gives me a single head nod.
“No, don’t be silly. I love having you guys here, plus I wanna keep talking about the baby and all the things we’re going to do for your baby shower when they let me out of here,” Dee says, making me cringe.
“Yay, how exciting,” Anna exclaims, and Dee smiles brightly.
If only she knew.
“Anna, honey, Ireallythink we should stop bombarding Dee with all this baby talk. She’s in here recovering. She doesn’t need to be thinking about your baby shower right now,” Johnny says.
