I splash my face with cold water again, then head back into the bedroom to a waiting Colt on the bed. He takes hold of my knee and pulls my leg over his so I’m practically on top of him.
“Colt.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you,” I say.
He takes hold of my wrist as my hand splays out over his chest and kisses my head. Who knows, this could be the last night I spend with the man I truly love.
Colt quickly falls asleep as I lie awake, thinking of all the possible scenarios of what could happen if I am pregnant.
Then, the ultimate thought crashes through me, unstoppable.
What will Daddy think?
Shit!
I’ve been with Colt for three and a half months, and I might already be knocked up.
That’s not going to go down well.
I have no idea how this even happened. I’m on the pill. But still, it’s never one hundred percent foolproof. Especially with all the drinking, partying, and late nights, maybe I may have missed taking a few pills here and there.
I’m so stupid!
My eyes stay wide open, staring into the blackness of the room as panic claws at my chest. My mind spirals through every scenario, every possible outcome, each one more terrifying than the last.
***
Colt is watching me like a hawk. He knows something’s up, but I’m trying my best to keep my secret under wraps.
We board the jet destined for Melbourne, and Colt takes my hand, dragging me to our usual seats. I sit, and he looks at me with his furrowed brows.
“Dee, how long are you going to keep me in the dark?” he asks quietly while he runs his frustrated hand through his hair.
I furrow my brows. “What do you mean?”
“I know what’s going on. I’m not stupid. Why are you keeping it from me? You can talk to me.”
I tense.
“Keeping what from you?”
“You’re still angry at me for the photo shoot, right? That’s why you’re moping around like a lost puppy.”
I decide to let him think that. It’s easier for him than finding out the alternative.
“I know you were thinking about me, but the image is still in my head, and—”
“Dee, I’m withyou. I only wantyou. No one else comes close. It’s onlyyou, baby,” he says, taking my hand in his and kissing my knuckles.
I nod, and for once, I’m not nervous about flying on the jet. My nerves about Colt leaving me when he finds out my secret outweigh the jet fear tenfold. Of course, I can’t take the usual prescribed medication if I’m pregnant, so I tell Colt that I will try without it, seeing as the flight is so short.
In a little over an hour and a half, we arrived in Melbourne and headed straight to the Melbourne Cricket Ground, where the band is playing tonight. The guys are on stage doing sound checks and walking through everything they usually do before a show.
Anna and I sit at the back of the stage chatting, but I feel off. I don’t know whether it’s the undeniable stress of being late or my body changing, but Anna knows something is up either way.
“Earth to Dee… have you even been listening to me?” Anna questions, bringing me back into the moment.
