After a great night out with the band and the interview, I slowly rise from the bed and move toward the ensuite. Colt’s fast asleep as I tiptoe around him. Shutting the door, I turn on the light while I use the bathroom. I casually sit on the toilet, my mind in a sleepy fog, when I realize that I haven’t had my period this month.
Well shit!Now I’m completely awake, and my heart hammers as I try to remember the date in my head.
I’m late.
Goddammit!
After I finish, I go to the sink to wash my hands and my now flaming-hot face with cool water. Staring at myself in the mirror, I look down, resting my hand on my flat stomach.
What the hell am I going to do if I’m…
Don’t say the word, and then it won’t be real.
Holy fuck!
Fucking, fuck, fuck!
Colt won’t even admit he loves me.
Telling him he might be a father?That could be the final push he needs to walk away for good.
I sit on the edge of the bathtub, the cold porcelain against my bare ass sending a shiver up my spine. Dropping my head into my hands, elbows braced against my knees, I try to breathe through the tangle of thoughts crashing into each other.
He hasn’t said the words.I love you.Not once. And I told myself that was okay, that his actions—the way he looks at me, the way he holds me, the song he wrote—those should be enough.But are they?
Because deep down, I knowwhyhe hasn’t said it.Macy.She burned him, left scars so deep that even now, years later, he can’t let himself be vulnerable. Can’t bring himself to say what I so desperately need to hear.
And maybe this is my fault.
I told myself it didn’t matter. That I could be patient. That love doesn’t need words when it’s shown in a thousand little ways. But now, with this looming uncertainty in my body, I don’t know if that’s true anymore.
I don’t even know how I feel.
Maybe I should find out for sure before I tell Colt what I think might be happening.
No… whatishappening.
To me.
Tous.
Suddenly, the ensuite door opens, and I look up at Colt, standing in all his naked glory, squinting because the light is too bright for him. “Baby, you okay?” he asks, walking in and sitting on the tub beside me.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just got a little…” I stumble for the right word, “… h-hot is all. I’m fine. Go back to bed,” I reply, kissing him on his cheek.
He rests a hand on my knee. “Why don’t you come with me? I want your body all over mine.” He smirks.
Even in a crisis, he can calm me without knowing I need calming.
I should tell him, but I’m terrified he’ll run.
I can’t tell him.
I have to find out if it’s true first.
“I’ll be in, in a minute,” I say.
Colt smiles and stands, then walks back into the bedroom.
