A crazed laugh bubbles up, escaping before I can stop it. My vision swims, something warm trickling down my face, but I don’t care. Iwantthis pain to take over—to consume me—because it’s the only thing I can feel that isn’thim.
Suddenly, strong arms rip me away from the wall, wrapping around me. I thrash, fighting to break free, swinging mindlessly.
I still can’t see…
But Iknowit’shim.
My head throbs, the dull pulse growing sharper, but the laughter won’t stop. It spills from my lips as I stumble backward, pressing against the cold wall before my legs give out. I slide down, my body curling in on itself as air finally creeps back into my lungs.
I breathe.
Slow, deep breaths.
The burn in my chest eases, just slightly, as the chaos around me fades. The once-blaring music has dulled to a murmur, whispers replacing drunken laughter.
My eyes remain shut, warmth pooling at my chin. I rest my forehead against my knees, wrapping my arms around myself, holding tight.
I think I’m rocking.
I feel the motion, but it’s involuntary, my body swaying like a broken pendulum.
“Dee?”
A soft voice cuts through the haze.
Anna.
Beautiful, wonderful Anna.
I force my eyes open, blinking at her blurred figure as she crouches beside me. She reaches out, her hands warm against my cheeks, gently wiping away the tears and whatever else is staining my skin.
Her face is a fog, but I see enough to know she’s crying too. Her brows are pulled tight, her lips parted in quiet worry.
“Is this a dream?” I murmur, my voice rough, barely a whisper.
Anna swallows hard, her throat bobbing as she shakes her head—just the slightest movement.
And that’s all I need.
No words. No explanations.
Just the truth, sinking into me like a blade.
“Fuuuck,”I scream, causing her to jump.
The pain surges back, sharper, relentless, and tearing through me like it wants to break me.
Desperate to drown it out, I drive my palm into my forehead, again and again, the impact sending sharp jolts through my skull.
Before I can do it again, Anna’s hand catches mine, gripping tight. “Stop,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.
But stopping means feeling.
And I don’t know if I can survive that.
“Dee, stop hurting yourself.” Anna takes hold of both of my hands.
“I… I… didn’t think you were coming back,” a strong but broken voice softly breaks through the fog.
