Colt looks at me, then back at the powder, his posture tense.
“Well, don’t say I didn’t offer.” Hux leans down and snorts a line, then rises from the table and quickly shakes his head from side to side, wiping under his nose.
When I look up at Colt, he’s clenching his teeth, his concentration unwavering like he’s deep in thought. My focus is pulled to blonde number two, and I can’t help but follow her movement as she undoes the zipper on Hux’s jeans. A shiver of disgust causes me to shudder, but it’s not enough to shift Colt’s attention away from the powder.
Unsure of where to look, my gaze bounces around the room and lands back on blonde number two, who has her hand completely inside Hux’s pants while he’s making out with blonde number one.
Even though I’ve been to several of their after-parties and should be used to this by now, I’m overwhelmed. This shit’s too intimate. “I’m going to bed,” I state. Everyone looks across at me as I stand abruptly. Turning, I look down at Colt, who stands, taking my hand.
“You sure you don’t want to join the party?” Hux asks, wiggling his eyebrows as blonde number two pulls his cock out of his pants and jerks him off.
“Holy…” I pour every ounce of emphasis into the next word, “SHIT!”
I turn away.
Colt huffs. “Jesus, Hux. You can’t wait till we leave the room?” He takes my hand, pulling me toward the stairs. His vice-like grip is so tight that my hand is turning white.
“Babe, you’re kinda squishing my fingers,” I tell him as we walk up the stairs toward our room.
He looks down and exhales, loosening his grip, but says nothing.
Colt opens the door and slams it shut behind us, kicking it with his foot and finally letting go of my hand. He’s quiet as he heads to the bed and sits on the edge, resting his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands.
Concerned and maybe a little confused, I stand at the side of the bed. I’m not sure if Colt’s angry about the drugs, the blondes, or not being able to join in on the party downstairs, and it makes me uneasy.
“Dee, I need you,” he murmurs, his voice barely more than a breath, his head still buried in his hands.
The raw sadness in his tone shatters my heart.
I sit beside him on the bed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, offering silent comfort.
Colt lifts his head, his gaze locking onto mine as he pulls me down with him.
He’s struggling.
And I have no idea how to help.
This is uncharted territory for me.
With a firm yet gentle motion, he shifts us back until we’re lying face to face. “I don’t know why today’s so different,” he whispers as he closes his eyes.
I’m confused as to what he’s talking about, so I ask, “Colt, babe, talk to me.” I bring my hand up to caress his cheek.
He nuzzles into my hand, and his eyes open, looking straight into mine. “I want to go downstairs and join the party, Dee!” I wince. “And it’s only the thought of hurting you stopping me.”
Holy. Freaking. Shit.I don’t just think it, I feel it, every syllable vibrating in my bones. But in my mind, it’s just one word that takes over…SHIT!
Is he admitting he wants to sleep with those trashy blonde birds downstairs?
My eyes burn with unshed tears as inadequacy seeps into my veins like poison. I’m not enough for him.I never was.Deepdown, I always knew it. So why the hell did I let myself believe that maybe I could be?
I roll onto my back, my heart pounding against my ribs. A sharp exhale escapes me before I push up, sitting on the edge of the bed, bracing myself against the weight of reality.
“Baby, say something,” he says as tears start flowing down my cheeks. “Why are you crying?” Colt rubs my back, trying to comfort me, but it’s not working.
I’m stopping him from being who he wants to be.
From who he really is.
