“I’ll never be enough for you, will I?” I ask, looking directly at him.
His brows furrow, and he shakes his head slightly as what appears to be a look of confusion crosses his face.
“If you want those girls, Colt, don’t let me stop you.” My voice is steady, but inside, I’m breaking. I push up from the bed, putting distance between us, crossing the room as if space can somehow dull the ache.
He looks at me with his head tilted. “What are you on about? Do you honestly think I want those sluts downstairs? God, no,” he replies, standing and walking over to me. I cross my arms across my chest, holding myself in a way that’s become very familiar to me and something that concerns me. “Is that what you thought I meant by that?” He takes my cheeks in his hands, forcing me to look at him.
“Isn’t it?”
“Fuck no, baby. I only want to be withyou. No other woman compares toyou.”
“Thenwhat the helldo you mean that youwant to join in the party downstairsif you don’t mean fucking brainless blonde bimbos number one and two?” I say louder than I intended.
He squeezes his eyes shut, then opens them, looking directly into my mine. “I want to use again. I’m fighting the urge everytime Hux comes home with that shit. But that’s why I’m so grateful to have you here. I wouldn’t be strong enough to resist it if you weren’t here with me. You’re my savior, Dee, my angel, and I need you to help keep me on the straight and narrow,” he says.
My heart sinks through my body and spills out all over the floor. My eyes glaze over, and I don’t know if this revelation is better or worse than thinking he meant the girls.
“Baby, say something,” he pleads.
My eyes regain focus, and I look into his desperate eyes. “Colt, I…”
He grabs hold of my shoulders and pulls me to him, embracing me tightly. “I can’t lose you, Dee.”
“I’m not going anywhere, but I am worried about you.”
“I know. But knowing you’re here, I’ll be fine,” Colt reassures.
The thought of being his sole reason for sobriety unsettles me. I want him to stay clean because he wants to, not just for me. But if I’m the one he leans on for strength… how can I turn him away?
“Colt, I’ll help in any way I can. You know I love you and only want you to be happy.”
He kisses me hard, pushing me against the desk. Then he grabs my ass, lifts me on top of it, and moves between my open legs.
His mouth parts from mine. “Say it again,” he whispers, grinding his cock into me. “Tell me how you feel,” he pleads as his hands run up my skirt, pulling down my panties.
I smile even though he’s not looking at me. “I love you, Colt.”
My hands make their way to the button of his jeans, and he groans, throwing my panties across the room. I unbutton his jeans, then unzip them, and they fall to the floor. His hard cock stands to attention in front of me while he devours me with his eyes. The need shown in them is overwhelming.
“I love you, Colt,” I repeat as he moves in closer. His mouth crashes into mine when he pulls me closer to the edge of the desk.
“Again,” he demands against my lips, his hand grabbing a fist full of my hair, pulling tightly.
“I love you, Colt.”
Without warning, he slams his cock into me hard, and I yelp from the sudden fullness. He moans loudly, tugging on my hair, takes a firm hold of my neck and squeezes lightly, and starts to move inside me frantically, making my ass chafe on the desk.
“Again,Dee,” he urges as he pounds into me relentlessly.
“I… love… you… Colt,” I stress each word breathlessly as he thrusts so hard that all the air is knocked from my lungs.
He tugs on my hair, his hand falling away from my neck, which causes my head to loll back so my neck is open to him. Then he leans down and sucks on my skin, hard enough that I’m sure he’s marking me. Even though there’s a twinge of pain with how he’s fucking me, I am turned on.
When emotions are running high, Colt is usually rough in the bedroom, but there’s something different about tonight. Desperation laces every thrust, except I’m not sure why.
“Again,” he yells as he drives into me.
It’s hard to think between the sensations running through me. I moan from the pleasure unfolding inside me, trying to form the words he wants to hear. “God, I love you, Colt,” I murmur while his moans fill the air around us as he starts to tense.
