“This is a prank website, isn’t it?Am I going to be on some TikTok vid?A reel on Facebook, while everyone laughs at me and gives me that googly-eyed, tongue-hanging-out emoji, and I end up canceled for being a complete moron?”
“Hah!”she barked into the phone.“You’re gonnawishthis was a damn joke.Answer the questions or hang the fuck up.It’s no skin off my ass, one way or the other.”
What choice did she have, considering what was sitting on her kitchen table?
Taking a deep breath, Dom answered.“No fins, scales, claws or,” she stopped to cough, “unicorn horns.”
“Check, check, check aaand check.Just a couple more.Uh, wings?”
“Wings?”she bellowed.“Wings?”Was this woman insane?
“Lady, shut the fuck up!”Nina hollered.“If you scream like that again, I’m gonna hang this phone up, sniff your ass out and yank your tongue outta your face, then I’m gonna wrap it around your neck.Got me?”
Dom cringed.Then a lighter, sweeter voice could be heard.
“Nina, give me the phone.Give it to me now, please.Why do you always choose violence at a time like this?Whoever’s on the other end of the phone needs help.”
Oh, boy, did she ever need help.But wasthisthe kind of help she needed?
And then Dom heard, “Give me that phone, Nina, or I’m going to go full werewolf on you!”
Werewolf?What in all of Stephen King was she hearing?
There was a scuffle and some muffled protests and then, “Hello, this is Marty Flaherty, OOPS consultant.Please accept my apologies for my rude coworker.Now, how can I help you today…um, Miss…?”
If nothing else, she sounded nicer.“Acosta.And I…I don’t know.I mean…I don’t know.I don’t think I fit the qualifications for your checklist.”
“Bah,” the sweet voice said.“We’re still in the process of adding to that checklist.Things change every day as society evolves.So how about you tell me what’s actually happening?”
As hysteria rose in her chest, Dom became incredibly hesitant, preparing to turn her cell phone off so she wouldn’t be the laughingstock of social media.
“Hello?Please don’t let Nina scare you off.We’re legit.I promise,” the sweet voice said, reading her mind.“I promise, you won’t end up on TikTok.Now, how about we start with your full name so I can address you properly?”
She licked her dry lips, stooping to gather Fletcher and set him on her island countertop, next to the small wicker basket where she put all of the “gifts” he brought her.
“My name is Dominique Acosta, but everyone calls me Dom.”Had she said that already?A sure sign she was on the verge of a panic attack was repetitiveness.
“Right.Got it.And how old are you, Dom?”
“Thirty-four.”
“Married?Single?In a relationship?I only ask because whatever is happening to you will surely affect the people in your life.”
Single.She was very single, with zero prospects since she’d broken up with Amon a year ago.“I’m single.”
“What do you do for a living, Dom?”
Nowadays?Never mind.That didn’t matter anymore.“I’m between jobs right now, but I used to manage a cosmetics counter at a major department store.”
There was a tiny gasp, and then the woman said, “Oooo!You like makeup?Wait until you hear whatIdo for a living!”
Shelovedmakeup, ultra-feminine clothes, shoes, bags, the works.“What do you do for a living?”Dom asked, now less frightened and more curious, as crazy as that sounded.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Marty!Get on with this shit already.It’s late and I’m gonna miss my feeding if you don’t find out what the hell this broad wants!”Dom heard Nina complain in the background.“Save the fucking lip gloss love-fest for another day.Get the hell on with it.”
Muffled slaps resonated in her ears.“Nina!If you touch this phone once more, I’m going to box your ears.Now back the hell off!” Marty bellowed with a roar.Then she cleared her throat in a ladylike manner.“I’m sorry for the interruption, Dom.We were talking about what I do for a living, which is neither here nor there right now.But I promise, we’ll get into it once we establish whatyourneeds are.”
“Thor!”she unwillingly hollered into the phone, biting her lip in horror as her left fist rose to meet the sky.
