“Lee…” he exclaimed at the same time. We both laughed.
“You first,” I said.
“Age before beauty,” he teased.
“Fucker,” I whispered, sneaking back down for another slow kiss. As I drew back just far enough to be able to focus on his gorgeous eyes, I continued, “…but at least you admit you’re beautiful.”
His cheeks pinked even more as he looked up at me, his eyes locked on my lips.
“Mason… I want to make love to you,” I admitted, looking into those gorgeous eyes. “But if, andonlyif, you want it, too.”
I saw him suck his bottom lip between his teeth nervously, but after a few long moments, he nodded.
“I want,” he responded. I stifled a smug chuckle at the desire that choked his voice. “Isowant…” He groaned. “…but I’m afraid,” he said, ruefully, eyes slipping away from mine. “I… I haven’t really… responded to anyone, sexually, since I escaped from Milwaukee.”
That brought me up short. I hadn’t considered what half a lifetimeof being forced into prostitution might have done to Mason’s sex drive.
“Yep, ‘Escape from Milwaukee’ sounds like a bad sci fi movie,” he kept going, his nerves getting the better of him. “You could be Kurt Russell, and I could be—” I placed my finger on his lips, shushing him.
“Okay…” I said, letting out a breath. We could do this. If he was willing to trust me, and be honest about how he was feeling, we might be able manage this. “Eighties films later. Sexy talk now. I appreciate your honesty, but I have to ask a few questions. First, I need you to keep being honest with me. If you don’t tell me how you are feeling, I won’t know how to help,” I said. He nodded at me, not moving his lips from my finger. I smiled down at him.
“I know you arecapableof having an erection,” I said, eyeing his crotch and waggling my eyebrows at him suggestively until he laughed, then laying a gentle kiss on his nose, “…especially if that boner you were sporting at my moms’ earlier is any indication, but have you ever had an orgasm?” I asked quietly. He darted a glance at me, then away again, and if possible, I thought his ears got even redder as he lay there by the firelight.
“…Yes,” he answered finally. “I mean, the normal morning stuff. Everything, well,works, and all. I’ve got the medical bills to prove it. I’ve just never… well, never beeninterestedin anyone, before. Never really attached anyone to it, in my mind, I mean, until, only, um… just… uh… recently.” He stammered and looked away again. I felt my eyes narrow a bit.
“How recently?” I asked, feeling a touch of a smug smile tugging at the corner of my mouth, but not wanting him to think I was laughing at him. He mumbled something that I didn’t quite catch, so I politely asked him to repeat it.
“Yesterday, okay, asshole?” he said, sitting up and scooting away from me, embarrassment plain on his face. He sat there for a moment, huddled on the couch, his arms pulling his knees up to his chest. “And… I don’t, um, I don’t know if I can, uh, b-bottom,” he stuttered, a shudder running through his body as he hid his face against his knees. “…ever.”
I moved up behind him slowly and wrapped my arms around him again. I waited several minutes, just holding him, until slowly, he relaxed against me again. He sighed and I felt some of the tension leave his body.
“We’ll work it out,” I said simply.
“It doesn’t, you know, freak you out that I, um, used to be a hooker? Or that I thought about you when… you know…?” he whispered, still hiding his face against his knees. I could almost feel the heat of his embarrassment coming off his body in waves. God, he was so adorably awkward.
“Oh, Beautiful,” I sighed, pulling him closer and nuzzling up against his warmth, my fingers laced with his again.
“First of all, you were never a hooker. You were a kid who was hurt, abused and put into an untenable position in order to survive. And even if you were, I wouldn’t judge. You did what you had to do to survive. Second, it will take a lot more than you thinking about me during masturbation to freak me out. I’m honored, Mason,truly,” I said, laying small kisses along the back of his neck.
“You don’t know how much it means to me that you shared all of this with me. Not just some ‘firsts’, but the fact that you trusted me. enough to shareallof this with me.” I leaned him backward toward me until his head lay once more in my lap, and we were looking at each other upside down again.
“And third, regarding bottoming, I value the trust you’ve placed in me and I wouldneverask you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable, or that would hurt you in any way.”
Mason looked back up at me, a small spark appearing in the depths of his eyes. Something… hope, maybe? Lighting them from within.
“And as luck would have it,” I continued, “I happen to like a little bit of everything in the bedroom, so who’s topping who isn’t really an issue for me.”
“…Seriously?” He asked, wrinkling his forehead as he looked up at me, doubt moving across his face as his gaze flitted up and down my body. “I mean… I figured…” his voice trailed off.
“Figured what?” I asked, smoothing the wrinkles on his forehead with my fingers.
“I guess… I figured… you’re just so…” he waved a hand at me in a quasi-salute, then waved vaguely at my body. I thought I finally figured out what he was trying to say.
“…Military?” I laughed.
“Yeah, kinda,” he answered, a relieved grin on his face as I translated from Mason-speak.
“What you like, orarelike, in bed has nothing to do with assumptions people make about your appearance,” I said, bringing his fingers up to my lips and laying kisses across his knuckles, making sure to take the sting out of any hint of criticism in my words.
