“I swear on everything precious to me, Nick, that he will never lay another hand on you,” he promised.
We sat there quietly for a few minutes. Somehow, having Kaine there, his arm around me, felt like he was coating my heart with a protective layer of steel.
“So, you never got to date? At all?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“I did go out with Vivian to a couple of clubs and was shocked—shockedI tell you!—to find out that club bathrooms weren’t always used for personal hygiene…” I teased.
Kaine chuckled.
“I’ll have to take you to The Belt,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow at him.
“It’s a local gay nightclub. I work there as a bartender,” he said.
“The Belt… Downtown? That’s the place where Vivian works!” I exclaimed. “The owner got some kind of small business grant that let her hire students and still provide health insurance, right?”
“Yep… And guess who wrote that grant request?” he laughed.
“That is amazing,” I said. “Wait, I thought you were working at your Moms’ dojo?” .
“I do that, too. And go to school…” he said.
“Bar, school, dojo? That’s a lot,” I said. Kaine looked at me oddly, his skin suddenly going pale.
“That… asshole…” he whispered, shock washing over his face.
“What?” I asked, suddenly frightened.
“The… the night I almost—that I… that I… found Bottles—” Kaine took a deep breath. “I called you. On my eighteenth birthday. I had tried to do what you asked, tried to let you go, but that night… It justhurttoo goddamn much, y’know? Ihadto speak to you. I knew if I could just talk to you, we could figure everything out. It was late, and your Dad answered the phone. He told me you were out… on a date.”
“What?” I exclaimed, jerking around to look at him. “You… You called me?”
He nodded.
“I was sick,” I said, running my fingers over the backs of his knuckles. “I was so upset about not getting to be there for your birthday, Vivian had wanted to take me to some stupid rom com to cheer me up, but I got sick. I was in the hospital with a bout of pneumonia.”
The feelings as I considered all the pain my father had caused ripped through me. Shock. Anger. Betrayal. Sorrow. I had thought my father’s hatred had at least just been targeted at me. He had to have known what he was doing to Kaine. I never thought he would have hurt someone else. I shook my head, trying to chase the fog from my head. Then the reality of his words came into focus, and I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry with trepidation.
“The night you almost… what?” I asked.
Kaine closed his eyes and tightened his arms around me.
“It… it was a long time ago, Nicki,” he said.
“Tell me,” I insisted.
He sighed and squeezed my hand.
“I was… I was suicidal. I almost jumped from the All-America Bridge downtown,” he said.
“Oh my god, Kaine,” I whispered, staring at him in shock.
“I’m doing better now,” he rushed to reassure me. “I take medication, and I’ve been seeing a counselor regularly. We’ve actually cut my visits down to only once every month or so. It’s really just an opportunity to touch base, and make sure my meds are still working.”
I reached my hands out and traced his lips with my fingers, still horrified at the thought that I could have lost him when I was too far away to have done anything. That my own father could have triggered his attempt. Fury boiled beneath my skin. If you were going to hurt me, fine. I’d deal with that. But, when you went after someone I loved… I felt Kaine’s eyes on me, and I looked at him.
