11
Nicki
I rememberedthe route to his house all too well. Route 76 to Market Street, turn right on Prairie Drive. The street hadn’t changed much since the last time I’d seen it.
I’d gone to say goodbye to Kaine the night before we headed to Florida. I’d been sick, of course, but I hadn’t let it stop me from going to see him.
His parents had told me he was out on the roof of the garage when I arrived. The two-car garage had been added to their property after they had inherited the house from their folks. Because of the way the addition was completed, the bathroom on the second floor opened out onto the roof of the garage. Kaine and I had spent many nights hanging out on that roof. We used it as a makeshift patio, somewhere his younger brothers weren’t allowed to go. We’d spend hours staring at the stars or, later, making out under the moon.
As I folded myself in half to squeeze through the window, I saw that Kaine had brought out our normal blanket and some pillows. The tiny grains of asphalt from the shingles were a literal pain in the ass, and the blanket made it more comfortable. Lit candles glittered across the rooftop and I stared in wonder at the display.
I knew he’d heard me step out onto the roof, but he stayed where he lay, his face to the sky and his back against the sun-warmed tiles.
“I can’t believe this is really it,” I said after a minute spent trying to memorize the picture he made. His hair hung back and away from his face, the soft, golden light of the sunset caressing his skin.
I stepped carefully around the candles as I walked across the tile to where he lay, setting my backpack down next to the blanket. The sun was almost set, the sky turning indigo as stars began to twinkle behind us.
“It’s not,” he said as I sat down next to him. “It, I mean. It’s not the end. You promised, right?” he asked, his voice quavering slightly. I watched him glance at me out of the corner of his eyes.
I scooted down the angled roof, unable to take my eyes from his face, even to watch the gorgeous sunset. I’d be able to watch as many sunsets in Florida as I wanted. I wouldn’t be able to see my best friend every day. I lay down next to him and he automatically held his arm out for me. I snuggled my head against his chest and sighed.
“It’s not the end, I promise. Before you know it, I’ll be all better, and we’ll start planning our college escapades. The doctors in Florida arewaysmarter than the ones here. They’ll run some tests, I’ll take a pill and be back before summer,” I reassured him.
We both knew I was making that shit up. At the rate I was going, I’d be lucky toliveto graduate high school. I’d had pneumonia four times this year already, and I suspected I had it again. I’d been coughing like crazy the last few days and I was exhausted all the time. Mom had called me on it that night right before we left to come over and say good-bye. I’d been stifling a cough as I stopped to get a jacket from the hall closet when my Mom had called my name. It was still summer, but I was freezing.
“Sweetie, are you breathing okay? Your lips look kind of blue…” she asked, reaching out and tilting my head from side to side in the early summer evening. She laid her palm on my forehead in the time-tested method of temperature checking of mothers everywhere.
I wasn’t about to give up my last chance to see Kaine for ages, so I’d convinced her it was just because I had eaten some blue colored ice pops a short time earlier. She gazed at me doubtfully, but she let me get away with it.
I had already seen some really good doctors in the area, but none of them had been able to figure out why my immune system didn’t seem to be working right. This move was a last-ditch effort by my parents. There was a specialist in rare infectious diseases in Tampa, but Dad’s insurance in Ohio wouldn’t cover it. If he took the job in Florida, not only would the insurance cover me, it would be a hell of a lot closer to the specialist.
Kaine and I both knew that moving cross country was not an endeavor my family took lightly. It was highly unlikely that, even if they did figure out what was wrong with me, we’d ever move back to the area. Failing to find an answer, though, was not something any of us were ready to accept. Including me.
Kaine pulled me tighter to his side, and I snuck my arm under the small of his back.
“You’ll keep sending me pictures, right?” I asked. “Tell me all the latest gossip. I don’t want everyone to forget me.”
Kaine’s stormy green eyes looked at me somberly from a few inches away before he leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
“How could anyone forget you, Red?” he teased. I poked him in the ribs, making him jump and laugh.
“I hate that nickname, you know that, right?” I demanded.
“Why do you think I use it?” he teased.
“Bastard,” I whispered, but my words were without heat. We sat and watched the last light fade from the sky. As the stars began to appear all over, I rolled to my side and looked at Kaine.
“You’re really warm,” he said, looking at me with concern. “I think you have a fever.”
“I’m fine. I’m just— I’m afraid,” I admitted finally, ignoring his comment. I’d had more fevers than I cared to count. Right then, I didn’t give a shit.
He studied my face in the dying light, then nodded.
“I know,” he said, turning on his side to look at me. “Me, too.”
We were quiet for a while, staring at each other in the falling darkness.
“You, first,” I said. “What’s that preacher say? ‘Name it and claim it’? Name your fears. What are you afraid of?”
