‘Ha ha. Very funny.’
‘Seriously, no one would have blamed you for shagging him. But it’s really, really good you didn’t. Okay?’
‘I know, but now he’s going to think I’m a total psycho for losing my shit and kicking him out.’
‘He won’t. And who cares if he does? And don’t use that word. It’s not psycho to end a conversation that sends all your carefully constructed boundaries crashing to the floor. It’s the right thing to do.You did the right thing.’
I sigh. ‘Thanks. I can’t wait for the weekend. Wanna watchBridgerton? Again?’
‘Indeed I do. Again. Hey, guess what? I’m meeting your cousin and his fiancée tomorrow. Saoirse, I think her name is.’
‘Oh, that’s excellent! Well done you. Knock ‘em dead, or stun them into submission with spreadsheets, or something.’
‘You know I will. They don’t stand a chance.’
‘Night night. Love you.’
I hang up and get ready for bed, but I can’t find peace under the covers. I don’t want to do this, but I need to. I need to get myself off. I’m so antsy and confused and overwhelmed after today. Kissing Josh, over and over again. Repeatedly reproducing that chemical cocktail of Georgiana’s terror and contempt and desire for Dom. And then on top of all that, this evening’s cluster-fuck.
I reach into my bedside drawer and pull out my vibrator. This is one dopamine release I really fucking need, and it’s all puritanical Mr Monk’s fault.
I turn it on and slide it under the covers, bending my legs. First over my pants, and as the sensation teases me to a point I can’t bear, I tug them down and put it to where I’m most desperately in need. My day plays like a movie behind my closed eyelids.
His face inches from mine.Never been kissed.
His fingers dragging down my skin.Such a beautiful white throat.
His hand closing over the nape of my neck.I will teach you.
His lips on mine. His tongue claiming me. The scent of him. The taste of him. The graze of his stubble.
It’s all too much. My breath comes faster. Searing heat pools against the vibrator and fans outwards.
But as I come, gasping and whimpering on my own in the dark, it’s not Dominic behind my closed lids. It’s Josh, on my sofa in his jeans and jumper, with his sexy, tousled hair and his vulnerability laid bare.Exactly like that.
That look in his eyes undid me. There was heat there, yes. Lashings of it. And I could have sworn there was something deeper there, too. But he’s looked at me like that before, so many times, and it didn’t stop him from walking away without a backwards glance.
So I can’t take those knicker-dropping, molten-eyed gazes seriously.
I need to remember that.
CHAPTER 29
Josh
‘Big day today.’ Thor, who plays Georgiana’s cousin Robert, looks at me in the mirror we share in the hair and makeup trailer. ‘You ready, big guy?’
I shrug. ‘Don’t. I’m trying not to think about it.’
Thor peers down at the side lying on the counter.‘Dominic and Georgiana: Wedding Night.Exciting stuff.’
‘You’re a dick.’
‘Seriously, though, mate. You okay?’
‘I’ll be fine. It’s just another sex scene. It’s not like I haven’t done a million.’
‘Yeah, but it’s not every day you have to do a sex scene with someone you’ve actually shagged, is it? Someone who hates your guts.’ He raises his eyebrows. ‘Or maybe it is. Knowing your track record, I wouldn’t be surprised.’
