***
When we’re done at the police station, I go see Max. He’s waiting outside his apartment building for me, and his eyes light up when he sees me.
“Hey.” He slides his arms around my waist and pulls me in for a kiss. “I missed you.”
“I saw you less than twenty-four hours ago.”
“I know. But it feels like a lot longer.” He steps away and takes my hand. “You want to talk about it?”
I shrug as we start down the busy sidewalk. “They think there’s a good chance we have a case. The footage from the security videos from the elevator and the alley were really good. I don’t know. It’s all kind of strange.”
He squeezes my hand. “I’m proud of you for going to the police. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been.”
“It helped to have Dom and Rowan there.” It’s weird how much I felt like a teen again around them. Even when we were fighting, even when Dom was pissed at me for not talking about Grant, I always knew they were safe. They’d never hurt me, no matter what I did. Being around them again, it’s felt like that. And I haven’t felt that kind of safety in a long time.
Max nods and allows silence to lapse between us when I don’t speak again. I don’t have anything else to say. A lot happened, and I talked about some really dark shit, and I want to leave it at the police station for now.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Max finally asks when we reach a black gate.
“Yeah, of course.” I’m grateful I met Max and that we have a bond and a relationship now, but I hate that he had to suffer through losing the first love of his life.
He leads me through the cemetery and stops at a beautiful marble headstone. It’s elegant and understated and makes it obvious how much Patrick was loved when he was here on earth.
Max kisses the tips of his fingers before pressing them to the headstone. “Patrick would’ve liked you.”
“Yeah?” I stare down at the headstone, at the young age Patrick was when he died. “I’m sorry he’s not here.”
“Yeah, me too.” His smile is sad, darkened by the years he spent without the man he loved. I don’t know how you come back from that.
Max squeezes my hand again, a little tighter this time. “Promise you won’t make fun?”
“I swear.”
He reaches up and runs a hand through my hair before kissing my forehead. “I feel like Patrick can hear me. And I just want him to know that I’m okay. I felt bad when we first met because I liked you so much. It almost scared me how quickly I wanted to be with you. I’ve never had that before. And part of me felt like maybe I was betraying Patrick by doing that.”
I stay silent but rub my thumb across the back of his hand. His eyes are open and filled with the kind of vulnerability I’m not sure I could ever show in public.
“Then I thought maybe it was okay since everything was just physical, and you made it clear that it would stay that way. And then you were so charming and funny, and you made me feel so good. Being with you made me realize that Patrick wouldn’t want me to be so fucking miserable. He’d be pissed if he knew what I’d been doing these last two years. If he knew I almost pushed you away because of the memory of him.”
“He sounds incredible,” I say softly.
“He was.” He smiles fondly at the name engraved on the headstone before looking at me. “You are too.”
I disagree, but I don’t say it.
“I want to be with you,” Max says. “But I can’t promise that I’ll stop missing him.”
“I would never ask you to.” I lift his hand and kiss his knuckles. “I would never expect you to either.”
“I know you wouldn’t. And I love you already for it.”
I flick my gaze up to meet his eyes. “We’re using that word already?”
He blushes. “Well, I mean, there are a lot of things I love about you. And with Patrick… Well, I just don’t want to miss the opportunity to tell you that.”
My skin warms. “There are a lot of things I love about you too. Some of them I feel like I shouldn’t say in a cemetery.”
He laughs, his eyes lighting up. Then he says, “I want a couple minutes alone with Patrick. If that’s okay.”
