Elizabeth read about who the next master of Longbourn would be after her father. Mama had not said it, but the fact Uncle Frank reported the news to her mother and sisters was, she was sure, another case of her father wanting to be cruel to his wife and not telling her that her single biggest worry was a concern no more.
Even though I am making changes, I am still looking out for good matches for you and your younger sisters. No, Lizzy, I will not interfere or ask any vulgar questions about income or estate size. It seems like Jane and Charles (he asked I call him by his familiar name and I asked he address me as Mother) found each other without any of my brand of assistance or machinations, Mary is being unofficially courted by Lord Hilldale! Even in my wildest imaginings, never did I think any of you would be a countess one day. They have so much in common and enjoy being in company one with the other.
Andrew (as we all call him in private) wanted to speak of his intentions to my husband, but I discouraged him with Jane’s and Mary’s assistance. I did not want your father to seek to tease Mary before she is confident enough to withstand his nonsense.
When, and if, he decides to request an official courtship or an engagement, he will of course address his request for permission to your father at that time.
Janey is writing a letter as well, so she will tell you any news I have not covered.
I look forward to seeing you when you come for Jane’s wedding. Do not be too hard on yourself.
I love you,
Mother
Notwithstanding her mother’s admonition she needed to look forward and not back, Elizabeth felt the shame at the way she used to relate to her mother all over again.
She could clearly see Fanny Bennet was not at all ofmean understanding, but was rather a compassionate and caring woman. All she could do was shake her head as she placed her mother’s letter on the bed and retrieved Jane’s. As she always did, she admired her sister’s fine work with a pen. She broke the seal and opened the missive.
18 November 1812
Longbourn
My dearest sister, Lizzy,
I miss you very much, especially at night with the added warmth in oour shared bed (that will not be a problem for me in a few short weeks—Charles asked if we could share a bed after the wedding, I of course agreed) and especially our nightly talks, but most of all I just miss seeing you Lizzy.
Mama informed me she told you about Mary and of our cousin’s passing, so I will not repeat those subjects. There is one courtship I will mention. Do you remember you predicted the Colonel was interested in our Lotte? You had the right of it. He has already requested and received permission to court her!
As we both know, she has always professed she is not romantic. Well, our ‘I am not romantic’ Miss Charlotte Lucas is falling in love with Colonel (soon to be Mister as he intends to resign from the army and sell his commission) Fitzwilliam. It would not surprise me if they announce an engagement in the next fortnight. Just so you know, Mr and Miss Darcy, the Viscount, and Becca all support him. Even though his parents are an earl and countess, they care more for their children’s happiness than choosing someone from high society. As long as the person is a member of the gentry, they care not for the rank. (A certain tall, dark, and handsome man from Derbyshire shared his parents had felt the same, and heagreeswith them.)
Do you remember Charles was to hold a ball this Friday past? With all that has occurred, it was deferred and it will be held this Friday the 20th day of November and will be an engagement ball. Before you worry about returning in time for it, there will bemany balls and I will see you on Tuesday the 24th when we (in addition to myself, everyone resident at Netherfield Park, Mary, and Lotte) arrive in London. As much as I would have loved for you to be at the ball, I understand it is too soon for you to be at home with Papa.
Andrew and Richard want to introduce Mary and Lotte to their parents. Also, the Darcys and Becca are keen to be in your company again. (Yes, both Darcys!)
When I see you sister dearest, I will not demand confidences, but if you want to discuss your thoughts and/or conclusions regarding Papa with me, or anything else, I will be a willing ear.
With my warmest regards and counting the days until I see you,
Jane.
Until she looked in the mirror, Elizabeth did not realise reading what Jane inferred regarding Mr Darcy in her letter had caused her to blush deeply.
Surely after the way she had behaved Mr Darcy was not interested in her romantically? If he was, how did she feel about that? Elizabeth was aware until she had ascertained more about herself, and confronted her father, she could not think of a romantic attachment.
Chapter 29
The day of the engagement ball being held at Netherfield Park, Elizabeth felt regret she was missing it. It was not so much she missed the dancing, which she did, but that she was not present to support Janey. She did admit to herself—the days of prevaricating to herself were past—that after what her older sister had mentioned about Mr Darcy in her letter, she would have hoped to be asked to dance by him. She would not have refused.
Considering that she would see Jane, Charlotte, and Mary in but a few days, Elizabeth did not expect any letters describing the ball in the interim.
Even though she had reached conclusions about her father, her own behaviour as it related to him, and what he had intended for her, she knew it was not time to end her efforts towards her self-discovery.
Between Friday and Saturday her investigation turned inward. Regardless of her father’s machinations, she was an intelligent and rational being. So, the question was, why had she suspended logic on many occasions, especially as it applied to Mr Darcy, and the pack of lies the former Lieutenant had fed her? She also needed to divine why she ignored her own conscience so many times in the past.
As far as Elizabeth was concerned, the solutions to her overall improvement in character depended on her reaching the underlying truths of these questions as much as her realisations about her father.
At first, Elizabeth was somewhat frustrated. Her exploration of the connection between her and her father, although engendering much pain, had been much easier to understand. By the time she took herself to bed on Friday night, she was not claimed by Morpheus until the time the ball to honour her sister’s and soon-to-be brother’s engagement was ending.
