I knock back several more drinks. The sooner I pass out, the better.
But my stupid mind is still whirling, and a hazy idea is forming. What if I create a summoning circle? If I could check that Gray is okay, then I’d feel a lot better.
Checking. That’s all it would be. Ensuring he is safe and happy. I absolutely would not beg for him to come back. Never that. I have pride and self-respect.
Another drink burns down my throat. Perhaps a little pleading wouldn’t hurt. If it worked, it would be worth it. I’d crawl naked over hot coals and broken glass to get Gray back.
But what are the chances that the demon I catch will pass my message on to Gray? I’m not strong enough to summon any specific demon, so I can’t call Gray into my circle. And anyway, that would be a terrible idea. I will not win him over by taking his freedom. Again.
I wince as another wave of pain washes over me. Then I shake my head to get my thoughts back on track.
So summon some random demon and hope that they pass on my message? It is a hideous idea. Stupid. Pointless. Dangerous.
A very bad idea for very many reasons. Not the least, because it might remind Gray that I deserve to be disemboweled for what I have done to him. I should be frigging thankful that he has merely walked away and left me with nothing more than a broken heart.
Not that I can imagine anything worse than this. Perhaps that is the point? Gray knows gutting me will be a mercy, and this is his vengeance?
I wince and try to shove my stupid hair out of my face, but it doesn’t work. Blasted stuff.
My thoughts spiral back to casting a summoning circle. All the reasons not to, don’t seem to be deterring me.
It’s a crazy idea. But it’s better than doing nothing.
Gray probably didn’t hear my declaration of love. If there is the slightest chance I can let him know that I care, that I’m so very sorry for everything. I have to try. Gray deserves it. He deserves everything.
I haul myself off the barstool and nearly fall flat on my face. Grabbing the bar is the only thing that saves me. Fuck. I’m wasted.
I need to get home and prepare a circle. And I need to do it now. I have a feeling sober me will think this is a terrible idea and not have the courage to do it. So it has to be now.
Where the fuck is the door? Ah! I think I see it. Why is it so far away? Why is the bartender yelling at me?
Fuck him.
I yank my wallet out of my pocket and throw it behind me, in his general direction. Money should shut him up. It works on most people.
I’ve reached the door now. Time to fling it open. The fresh air will sober me up a little, I’m sure of it. Just enough so that I can make it home and complete a circle.
Ah. Here we go. Cool night air. I’m outside. Now I just need to remember how to walk.
Suddenly, blinding pain explodes along the back of my head. Did some motherfucker just hit me? Fuck!
Darkness and oblivion are calling. It looks lovely. Finally. I sink into it gratefully and leave all my pain behind. I’m not sure I’m ever going to want to wake up.
Chapter twenty-seven
Ow! My head hurts. Everything hurts. I feel like shit. Where am I? It feels like I’m sitting in a hard plastic chair. What the fuck? My hands are tied behind my back. This is not good. At all.
The evidence is clear. That blinding pain I felt was someone jumping me. And my money is on Nikolai’s people seeking revenge. Even they can muster up the brain cells to connect our disagreements with his sudden disappearance.
Blearily, I open my eyes. An empty, disused office space. Horrid strip lights. Ugly carpet. Large windows covered with white strip blinds. A few abandoned and forgotten desks shoved into the far corner.
A soft whimper makes me turn my head. Sammy’s wide eyes meet mine. He has a gag in his mouth and is tied to a chair too.
Fuck. Nikolai’s associates must have followed him to find me. Now they are going to use him against me. They know torturing me will do fuck all. They must be hoping that Sammy means something to me.
My teeth grind. I can’t let them know that he does. Watching him be hurt is going to be awful, but I can’t let myself show anything. If I appear unmoved, hopefully they will give up and let him go.
“Don’t worry, kid. I’m going to get us out of here,” I say.
