Obediently, I turn and follow him out of the room. It is all that I am now. A thing who meekly does as he is told.
It is all that I am capable of.
Chapter fourteen
Ipace the basement. Mal is in the bathroom. Lello is safe. Strong wards have been placed around the house. Everything is fine, yet my mind feels as if it is on fire. The doors to my past have been opened and everything is tearing through me. It is too much.
I’m suffocating from emotions. There are far too many feelings surging through me. There is no peace, no rest. I need to do something, anything, to calm this storm inside me. Or at least distract it.
Questions need answering. I have to know. Whatever I can. Rationally, I know that too much time has passed, but the need to understand is burning me up.
I glance at the door to the bathroom. If I’m quick. I’ll be back before he even realizes I am gone.
I lick my lips. Then I’m stepping back into the shadows. Seems my body has decided for me.
I’m going.
It is quiet in this graveyard. I can feel Theo’s bones beneath my feet, but my eyes are fixed on his name carved into the weathered granite. All I can do is stare at it. My fingers traced the letters when I first got here. Confirming what my eyes were seeing. Now I’m just standing here.
Why did I even come? There are no answers here. What was I expecting to find? I should leave. But I can’t.
Footsteps behind me make me look up. It’s the vampire, Ned. I stare at him in utter confusion. Why is he here?
“There you are!” he says softly as his brown eyes flash with relief.
He has been looking for me? That’s unsettling. Cold unease rolls in my guts.
“Is Mal an…angry?” I stutter.
Alarm and suspicion flash through the vampire’s pretty dark eyes. He shakes his head. “He is frantic with worry.”
Lies. I’m sure of it. The vampire is simply trying to stop me from fleeing.
“How did you find me?” I ask. There is no point in running if I’m merely going to get caught again.
He slowly takes a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. And then a lighter. He lights a cigarette and inhales deeply, letting the smoke out into the rain of this dark gray afternoon.
“You and I both feed on life force. Blood is my preferred form. While, well, another substance is your favorite.” He shrugs awkwardly. “But at the end of the day, it is the same stuff.”
I have no idea where he is going with this.
He sighs heavily. “We’ve both absorbed life force from several of the same men. It means I can sense you.”
His shame and disgust are turning the air sour. I stare at him blankly for a moment before my mind catches up. He is talking about the harem. The same men who used me, also used him. Their life forces seeped into us. The notes of their essence have formed the melody of our magic. Now that I am looking for it, I can sense it. A hazy connection between me and the vampire. A similarity to our magic, as if our auras are siblings. It connects us. My mind sees it as a faint golden ribbon.
Fuck. I turn away as my stomach thinks about heaving. I hate that those men have become part of us. It is abhorrent. I shouldalso hate that Mal has a way of tracking me, and there is no point in running, but strangely, I can’t bring myself to care.
“So who was Theodore?” asks Ned as he tilts his head at the gravestone.
The love of my long life. My sunshine and my joy. My benediction. My everything.
“Betrayer and deceiver,” I say, and the words scorch my tongue and twist my soul. I loathe the truth of them.
Ned’s eyes flash with understanding. “He got you caught?”
I nod and then shudder. And not just from emotion. My clothes are soaking wet and my body is freezing. How long have I been standing here in the rain? Clearly, my plan of getting back before Mal noticed I was gone was a stupid one.
“Well, fuck him then,” says Ned. He spits on Theo’s grave. “I know all about assholes like him.”
